Stupid Things – a Double Edition…

… Typically I do a single stupid thing on any given day. Today was exceptionally rare.

This morning I went outside to take out the trash. It was still dark when I heard a loud crashing noise coming from the wooded area in the back yard. What the hell was that, I wondered out loud. I turned and was face to face with this…

UNHOLY BEAST!

And it made a noise, like a scream. Did you know deer scream and it sounds sort of human but in a creepy as shit inhuman way? And then it reared up at me like it was a head kicking ninja! All I could do was react on pure adrenaline. I tipped the trash can over to obstruct the rabid Demon Deer’s path in case it got any crazy ideas about charging and then I ran like a little girl shrieking “Nature! Nature! Oh my God, Nature!”

I narrowly escaped with my life. It was a harrowing experience but I’m confident I was a model of heroic virtue. And then I made my nine year old son go back out later and make sure the coast was all clear before I left for work.

***

I meet the most interesting people at my job. Today I was honored to meet Ahliveah. What an unusual and exotic name, Ahliveah. How do you pronounce such a wonderful name, I asked.

Her reply; “Uh. Olivia. Duh”