The Crescat
… I figured the best way to discuss the “diet” thing on my blog, without becoming overly obsessive on the topic, would be to offer weekly roundups at the end of each week.
So lets kick this off with some things I’ve learned, some inspirational stories, NSV ( non scale victories), and just some general thoughts on body issues and eating disorders.
Things I’ve Learned
– There are more different types of diets than there are hairs on my head.
– People in general are good and want to see you succeed.
– The exception to #2 are the saboteurs. There will always be someone who wants you to stay fat to bolster their own self esteem. The “hey, at least I’m not the fattest person in the room” person.
– And this last one that’s a no-brainer but still something I had to experience for myself before it finally sank in… Eating like shit will make you feel like shit.
Inspiration
– Every single email, tweet, and private message I’ve received telling me I can do this!
– This story and this quote from it;
“I stepped on the scale to weigh myself, and when 268 pounds stared back at me, it was the most terrifying moment. I couldn’t think of a time in my life when I hadn’t been overweight, when I hadn’t been aware of how big I was. I recognized that if I’d only ever gained weight, if I’d only ever climbed up and up and up on the scale, the scary part of weighing 268 pounds wasn’t being that particular weight, it was going beyond that weight. 300. 315…
The thought of bigger future versions of me shook me awake.”
– And this Jesuit chronicling his struggle with morbid obesity.
Non Scale Victories (NSV)
– Making it ten days without consuming any fast food or soda.
– Logging in for twelve consecutive days on My Fitness Pal (MFP) and honestly keeping track of everything I consumed.
– Finally discovering the reason why I binge eat in the evenings and learning my eating patterns.
I haven’t been consuming enough calories during the day so by the time I got home I was ravenous and would pillage the cupboards. Now I pack an apple specifically to eat on the car ride home.
– organized my cabinets and refrigerator and purged myself of canned soups, instant potatoes, raman noodles and man’n’cheese. (Donated to the food bank)
– And this is my favorite NSV this week… I made a meal plan for the week, wait there’s more, and STUCK to it!
General Thoughts
Not every thing I eat needs to be fatty comfort food. Why do I need my food to comfort me? I need my food to give me vitamins, nutrients, and energy, not comfort.
Growing up poor, food became a symbol of affluence. It was a real treat when we could afford to eat out. I learned to associate financial success and stability with dining out. Then later, in adulthood, food became comforting when I was depressed. Then even later, as a single mom, fast food became my convenience food. See, I have attached all these symbols and associations to food- an inanimate object meant only to keep us from starving to death. I’ve given food way too much importance and control in my life.
Oh and portion sizes. Oh my, what an eye opener! It’s like every day is Lent, never Easter.
I need to buy a food scale and some measuring spoons.
I need to buy a bathroom scale.
I need to buy some work out clothes so I can stop making excuses for not working out.
The idea of stepping into a gym gives me panic attacks. I imagine everyone will stare at me and snicker behind my back. This fear isn’t entirely unfounded. The last time I stepped into a gym some little blond things in Lululemon yoga pants told me they hoped I didn’t break the stationary bike before they got a chance to use it.
Why do work out videos never have real people featured in them. Everyone is already toned and gorgeous in fitness magazines. I want videos and pictures of your typical woman who’s just trying to maintain her weight and get strong. That’s what I find motivating – things like this or this.
So, how was your week?
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