The Importance Of Compassion

Occasionally people irritate me. When they don’t do things the way I think they should or if they treat me or others different than I think they should, It sometimes causes me to react negatively toward them. Once when I asked another pastor how I should handle this dilemma, he suggested that I have compassion for them like Jesus.

That was not what I wanted to do.

I wanted to find a way to punish them or tell that what I thought. Sometimes, I would talk to a friend and brew up some common-enemy intimacy as we would talk about how wrong they were. But ultimately my pastor friend was right that what my “enemies” really needed was my compassion.

I understand compassion to be a form of empathy. When I try to understand what someone else is going through, it helps me have compassion for them as a person. It may not automatically change my actions, but it will help me take a breath before responding and it may help me act in a more responsible way.

But compassion is not just for other people like the multitude that Jesus observed and had empathy for. Compassion is also essential for us and the wounded parts of us that sometimes desperately need it. Our felt sense of an inner child and inner critic both need our empathy to heal the shame and woundedness we all experience.

For compassion to be implemented, we must first take a pause. No one can make us react, but when we take a breath between stimulus and response, we are more able to consider the other person’s situation (even when the other “person” is a part of us). We are often our own worst critic.

I don’t think compassion is a soft skill. It doesn’t cause us to be weaker – it actually makes us stronger. Empathy and compassion are essential for us to effectively navigate the difficult terrain ahead of us.

It may even be a key to approaching our political and religious differences.

Unfortunately, compassion and empathy don’t seem to be our defaults. However, I suspect that when we go inside and understand ourselves better, we will begin to understand others as well. When we understand ourselves and others better, we can direct our compassion toward them.

Compassion is possibly the most essential key to healing!

I am also trying to remember that compassion is for all the people not just the ones I agree with. Maybe we could see beneath the surface reactions people have and have compassion and empathy for the child and critic within them.

I know it won’t be easy, but I think it’s possible.

Be where you are, Be who you are, Be at peace,

Karl Forehand