“I have all the time In the world.” This is what we think.
We tell ourselves we have time for everything: our work, our families, our faith, our hobbies and avocations. We budget our time, first around the things we think are required and then around the things we desire to do.
We tend to lose sight of the fact that we only live so long and that each passing day brings us closer to death.
I have recently been acutely reminded of that fact and believe I can share some insights of which I have become more aware.
Why do we act as though we have time?
As we go through our daily lives, doing our jobs, taking care of our families and so forth, we don’t think much about how little time we have in this life. None of us knows when he is going to die. Given that fact, below, I have delineated steps we can take to minimize the damage that is caused by running out of time.
Procrastination
Perhaps the best example is procrastination., We tend to put off unpleasant tasks or tasks we do not like until the last possible time they an be accomplished. Extended up to death, the procrastinator will finally do that awful task that turns out to be easy and take only five minutes.
The real issue lies in emotional regulation, where people knowingly delay tasks despite understanding what it all means. Research shows we procrastinate because of:
- Fear of failure or criticism
- Task aversiveness or complexity
- Perfectionist tendencies
- Low self-efficacy
- Difficulty with emotional regulation
Some of us find the subject of death so unpalatable or distasteful that we do our best to ignore its inevitability. These people are likely to die with unfinished projects.
Some of us simply ignore the subject out of seeming disinterest. Deep down, these people know but refuse to accept inevitability.
The Planning Fallacy
There is even a psychological construct known as the Planning Fallacy.
The planning fallacy is a cognitive bias that leads people (or organizations) to underestimate the time, costs, or risks of future activities (e.g., tasks, projects, etc…). This “underestimation” is almost always accompanied by “overestimation” of the types of benefits those “future activities” can bring.
The planning fallacy is used in business and industry, but it can apply to our daily lives If we do not consider it and heed its warnings we can literally run out of time. Life on earth is short and sometimes when we get to a certain point, we suddenly realize we have wasted a lot of time and now it might be too late.
This is an easy trap to fall into. I have recent experience with this trap when I experienced near death and I am grateful that God allowed me to recover so that I could finish some unfinished projects.
Perfectionism
Perfectionism becomes a time problem when the desire to make something perfect leads to constant doubts and revisions so that the project is not completed in a timely manner. We have to be able to accept imperfection because chasing perfection is a time trap into which it kit easy to fall.
Distractions
In this digital age, there are distractions everywhere.
The modern work environment is filled with constant digital interruptions (emails, chat apps, social media alerts). Each notification breaks our focus, and it can take over 20 minutes to fully regain concentration.
- Internal distractions: These originate from within you.
- Fatigue, stress, or hunger
- Worry, fears, or other emotions
- Pleasant thoughts about things you’d rather be doing
- Daydreaming or mind wandering
- External distractions: These come from your environment.
- Noise from other people or surroundings
- Technology, such as phones, social media, and emails
- Visual distractions, like a busy view or other people
Why is all of this important?
What might be seen trivial at first glance deserves more than a cursory consideration. Many things in lie are subject to the planning fallacy.
- Missing a flight
- Missing a deadline
- Missing family time
- Failure to complete an important chore or project
- Increase of stress and anxiety
- decreased personal efficiency
- decreased production
- Finally a death with unfinished business
Among these, one aspect of misjudging our time, is that when we die, there is incomplete work, there are unfinished projects, un-mailed letters, people you have meant to call, acts of kindness that you could have done, seeking forgiveness for your missteps, and for people who need to know you love them.
We all die and it is the responsibility of everyone to accomplish the important things before death comes. This will require prioritization. We have to be able to discern which things are the highest priority and complete them first (even if the task is unpleasant). This approach eliminates procrastination. We can go through life watching the world go by or we can plan our lives to include all the important things so that we have a better chance of completing vital tasks before we die.
How can we use our time more wisely?
Here are some tips to help avoiding the pitfalls described above.
- Set priorities for everything, your work, your family, your home chores, your hobbies and so forth. Successfully prioritizing everything you do, you might find you have more extra time than you thought you could possibly have.
- Make time for the things that give you pleasure. You need time with your family, your house and garden, your hobbies and other things which give you pleasure.
- Learn to say “NO.” Set realistic boundaries and do not allow people to overload you with their responsibilities.
- Do not try to multitask too much. It can lead to fragmentation and a lack of the concentration on the task at hand, which is necessary for completion.
- Use reminders to stay motivated. Hang a picture of your family, favorite vacation spot to help keep you motivated.
Having a tangible reminder of what motivates you can provide that last burst of energy you need to cross the finish line.
What is the purpose of this discussion?
The purpose is to warn all who read this that they, like all humans, have unfinished things in their lives. The trick is to minimize the obstacles that get in the way of completion of the task or project (or relationship) at hand.
Do not put off unpleasant tasks. This generates stress and anxiety. If we plan properly, we will see more productivity and a better product, process, or relationship. Do the hard things first.
This raises the question: are we ready to die? For most of us, the answer is NO.
Why am I writing this?
I am writing this because It almost happened to me. Two weeks ago, on Halloween, I went to the ER, transported by EMS. My breathing, BP and heart rate were erratic. I was unconscious. My vital signs and blood work all spelled the end. My wife and children waited for the word in the ICU waiting room. They had made their peace with my death.
In the middle of the night, they gave me a unit of blood which somehow revived me. More blood followed. Now I am home and able to write if my stamina continues to hold up. I knew I was going to die in the reasonably near future, but I was wholly unprepared to die on that day.
For some reason, God allowed me the time to go home and do as many of those things as possible.
I got a reprieve this time so I am working as hard as I can to complete some unfinished projects (and a few not yet started).
If anyone can learn from my experience, I hope it will enable you to complete more projects with minimal stress.
Most of all, I hope you are ready to leave this life when the time comes, for that time will surely come.
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