Thank You, Ms. G.

I learned today that one of my regular massage patients at the infusion center passed away just before Christmas. I’d been seeing this woman for 20 or 30 minutes worth of massage and Asian Bodywork therapy while she was receiving chemotherapy, every week or two, for three years. I’d chatted with her husband, who was often there, met some of her kids, saw her vacation photos and photos of the amazing Halloween costumes she crafted for her kids, heard about her nursing career, her dreams and her fears.

When I was having a dispute with management and it looked like I might no longer be able to offer my services, she took it right to her physician, who is the head of the oncology department, to tell him to make sure to keep me around.

I was there when she got the bad news about cancer infiltrating her brain, tried to take away some small part of the grief and pain with my hands, marveled at her strength as she made plans to continue the fight with radiation treatment.

Ironically the last time I saw her we didn’t get to talk. I saw her across the room and nodded and waved, expecting to work with her later, but she was only there for a consultation, not chemo. I could see things weren’t good, she was in a wheelchair, but I wasn’t sure if that was from the disease or if it was temporary debilitation from the radiation therapy.

She’s not the first regular patient of mine there to pass on, but she was only in her mid 40s, with kids still in school; that hits different.

It is an honor and a blessing and a privilege to do this work. But today, no question, it kicked me in the heart.

I learned from my teachers to say “thank you for letting me work with you today” when I finish a session. Thank you, Ms. G, for letting me work with you.

Cancer has been with us forever — “the emperor of all maladies, the king of terrors” is recorded in Ancient Egypt. While there are significant things we can do to reduce risk via lifestyle choices, part of the terror is its randomness.

But we have not done ourselves any favors with the way we have soaked the environment in carcinogenic chemicals. Endocrine disrupters like BPA and phthalates in household plastics; the vinyl chloride with which we poisoned East Palestine, Ohio; formaldehyde outgassing from plywood and particle board in our homes and furniture; flame retardants in children’s toys — and in camping gear, my festival friends. Anyone who was actually interested in “making America healthy again”would be devoted to regulating industry to reduce carcinogenic emissions.