Trump: “Thou Shalt NOT Be Called Female”

The words “women, female, and immigrants” are no longer permitted in Trump’s America: it is time to do a major editing of the Bible.

Guess what? If you are a woman, you no longer exist in parts of Trumpworld!! How about that? Now that’s power: his edicts have just erased one-half of the human race from countless government documents!!

How did Mr. Trump achieve this incredible feat? Easy-peasy: the words “women, female, females, feminism” are now among hundreds “woke words” Mr. Trump has declared not to be used in those official documents.

Truly, the Trump Bible, not to mention the billions of other Bibles out there, really needs to undergo significant editing. Under Trump’s leadership, we will be a nation governed by the principles of Christian Nationalism, the Bible serving as the source of all laws.

But we’ve got a real problem. In Genesis, for example, all Bibles state clearly that God created humankind, male and FEMALE, God created them. We simply cannot have the forbidden “female” to be recognized as the pinnacle of God’s creative activity. May it never be!

Oh, the word “immigrant” is also forbidden. It’s best to scrub Abraham’s journey, the Exodus, the Israeli incursion into Palestine, and the Nativity stories. We don’t want people to get the idea that immigration might be a biblical idea.

As for our baptismal vows of resisting evil, injustice and oppression? Forget about it. With the words “injustice” and “oppressed” on the forbidden list, you are hereby released from that promise.

We will soon have the highest infant and maternal mortality rate in the world! We’re number ONE!

There are lots of other forbidden words, all carefully curated to make sure that the US is populated only with white straight males (“LBGT and racism,” for example, are no-no’s).

I suspect we shall also eliminate all government-funded research into Obstetrics, Gynecology, pregnancy and childbirth since these are all, gulp, WOMEN’S issues and thus cannot be named, making it impossible to study them.

We can also immediately stop all research into ovarian and uterine cancers, menopausal challenges, and other 100% female afflictions. We MIGHT be able to keep breast cancer research, but only because men occasionally get breast cancer. We certainly don’t want to do anything that might harm males, after all.

Oh, by the way, the phrases “pregnant people, pregnant person, and pregnant persons” are also utterly forbidden, but apparently, we can still use the word “pregnancy.”

Just think: we will soon become the absolute world leader in pregnancy-related deaths! We will be THE BEST, NUMBER ONE woman/baby-killing nation in the world!!! Yea for us!!!! The hallmark of a country based on the principles of Christian Nationalism! Even better, since we can’t use the word “women,” we don’t even have to count those maternal deaths since all the afflicted will be women!!

By the way, words like rape, f***, penis, butt, a*****e, male, and even [toxic] masculinity are acceptable, but not gender, bias or ethnicity.

Here’s a screenshot of the current “do not use” word list.

You may NOT claim to be traumatized or to have mental health issues ever again.

Remember, it is against the rules for those of us who think we might be a bit disturbed by having our existence wiped out to speak of experiencing any “trauma” or “mental health” issues about this. No being “traumatized” allowed!!!!

You love being erased. You love being erased. You love being erased. Just keep repeating this phrase until it becomes your [invisible] identity.

Remember the ban on the word “immigrants?” Don’t ever let anyone know about your heritage. Either you were born of Native Americans (I think this leaves Mr. Trump and, most definitely, Mrs. Trump out, and I’ve not even started on the Vance problem), or you don’t belong. Except those we call Native Americans come from ancestors who immigrated here ten to twenty thousand years ago. I guess they don’t belong either.

Seriously, the fact that we are a nation of immigrants with multiple ethnicities must be erased from all official readings and in all government-supported educational settings. Lots of options for textbook publishers to increase their profit margins. Hmmmm . . .  you may want to recognize a good investment opportunity here, possibly even better than Tesla stock.

Those formerly known as “women” can now be called: “[potential] breeding units.” Those incapable of breeding can scrub floors, wash the bloody garments of the successful breeders, and quickly burn and dispose of the remains of those who die in the process. Otherwise, the “breedingless units” will stay quiet and remain unseen.

The new US mantra for those who might wish to come to this hallowed nation: “Only white-skinned (and we will test for any drop of contamination), penis-bearers (which may be used only in the proven breeding units that are permitted to follow while carrying the luggage) shall be given entry.”

All the rest of you suckers? (The word “suckers” is OK, by the way): You don’t even rate being second-class citizens. You don’t exist. Don’t even think about voting or speaking up. You are not human beings. You have no rights.

Let us usher in the new utopia. This is Christian Nationalism at its very, very best: a pure, white, totally male-public/female-hidden/zero-acknowledgment-of-oppression-or-injustice society. It’s going to be glorious! Why have we waited so long? OK baby I know I know it’s hard I’ll take you down in a minute