The Confession of a Former Youth Pastor

As I was biking to and from work last Friday, I listened to an excellent edition of This American Life.  The subject was amusement parks, and it was hilarious (and even a little inspiring).

One of the segments played voicemails that listeners had left about their most poignant amusement park memories, many of which had to do with being vomited on.

I don’t like amusement parks.  Never have.  They’re hot, sticky, plastic places, “the first toxic great excrement of a hyperreal civilization.”

But, as a youth pastor, I had to spend at least one day every summer at an amusement park.  So, I had a secret plan, that I will now confess to the world:

I would be sure to place myself in the group with the kid that I thought had the weakest stomach.  Then, as the morning progressed, I would heartily encourage both the eating of much gross food and the riding of the most hair-raising roller coasters.

Inevitably, that kid (or another) would puke, and I would find myself sitting comfortably for the rest of the day in the air conditioned First Aid building.  (If you haven’t been in the First Aid building of an amusement park, it’s like a little Garden of Eden in the center of Hell.)

My apologies to all of the kids who puked on my behalf.  But, I admit, I don’t regret what I did.

What are your youth ministry confessions?