Confidence is an elusive character trait. We either lack it altogether or we play at it with a sort of narcissism that is, in some ways, sadder than admitting our timidity.
True confidence is not about arrogance. It is not about feeling right and sure all the time, as we too often imagine. We gain confidence by learning how to accept reality and be a consistent person. Even so, this is easier said than done.
1) Source of AcceptanceOur lack of confidence is based on fear. We are afraid of rejection. Afraid of not being enough. Afraid we will not be accepted.
This fear controls us. It leads us like a bit on a horse. In order to gain our confidence, we have to address the issue of acceptance. No person can ever be confident without feeling a sense of acceptance and belonging.
The chief obstacle here is to find the source of our acceptance. Too often, we confuse the approval of others as the source of our acceptance. It isn’t. We will never fully trust it and always want more. Our identity lies in the deepest truth of who we are. If we want to be a confident person, we have to explore the truth of who we are.
Acceptance is not the goal of life. It is the foundation. the base layer. We are accepted unconditionally by the One who created us. Beginning here is the only way to true confidence.