I’ve started to notice a concerning pattern in my life. I want to do something, let’s say lose weight. And so, I decide to join a gym or eat better or whatever it is. And it works, for a time. But as soon as I start to lose some weight, I start to lose some motivation for continuing. I no longer feel the strain to lose weight because I am losing weight, if that makes sense.
My diet or gym attendance starts to fall away and I gain a little weight back. And then, once again, I feel the desire to lose some weight. So, I start at the gym again or pick up my diet. But I don’t trust them as much as I did the first time. I’ve seen they don’t work (as if it is the gym’s fault I don’t go to it).
The problem with this pattern is that I am constantly thinking about changing my behavior. My desire for change is circumstantial. And the new behavior only lasts as long as the desire.
There are two issues with this. The first is that behavior change is an ineffective vision. It is not good enough because it is not the core of what I really want. The second issue is that once the behavior starts to work, I lose the motivation to continue it. The changes are temporal and conditional.
This is epidemic of today’s culture. Quick starts, short results, and lots of giving up. We set resolutions that last a few weeks at best. We bail on commitments quickly. Our behavior changes usually whip back on us like a boomerang.
What I really need is a new pattern. A new structure that dictates new behavior.
This is harder. It requires me to evaluate what I value, what I envision, and what perspectives I need to adopt in order to live the life I truly want.
Trying to change behavior is like treating symptoms. It might help a little, but it won’t last. It won’t make you feel better in the long run. The disease is our inaccurate and ineffective systems. The structures we have adopted for our relationships, work, and personal habits let us down.
THERE-HERE-PATH is an example of a structure. Naming accurate values and living toward a true Transcendent Vision is the only way to step into the change I truly desire. Structure demands behavior. And if my structure is based on victim mentality or temporal results, my behavior will oscillate between superficially effective and ineffective.