We often talk about how much we want to belong. There is a clear desire in all of us to feel included, a part of things. It is a huge part of feeling purposeful in this communal world. We enter institutions and relationships with a deep hope. We hope to find belonging. We hope the people and the places we find ourselves in will accept us and include us. But belonging is a two-way street. And what we rarely think... Read more
A couple days ago, we started a puzzle on the kitchen table. We’ve written before about puzzles and the beautiful metaphor they are for life. Everyone has their own strategy for puzzles. Ours is simple. We go through the pieces find the edges, make piles of like-looking pieces, and then try to fill in the middle once the frame is put together. It never ceases to astound me how small the frame (once the edge pieces are all connected) is in relationship... Read more
The myth of control is perhaps the most common idol. It is everywhere. We try to control our circumstances, people’s perception of us, and the outcomes of every facet of our lives. Chasing control is what got humanity in trouble in the first place. Adam and Eve wanted to be ‘like God’. Cain was worried about his inadequate offering so he killed his brother to try to re-orient the narrative in his favor. The tower of Babel is about control.... Read more
Malaise is a common occurrence in the life of every human. That feeling of being tired or a little sad. Just not wanting to do anything. Bored. In some ways, a feeling of malaise is the most human thing in the world. We are creatures of pattern, destined for the mundane. Every new thing becomes familiar. The excitement of passion inevitably wanes over time. And we are left with something else. Or a couple different kinds of something else. There... Read more
I used to think every decision was binary. A right one and a wrong one. If I made the wrong decision, I’d be derailed. If I made the right one, there was little comfort. Another decision (and another chance to derail) was just around the corner. We spend our lives developing patterns. All of our experiences, our values, and our repeated behavior form into a sort of shorthand way of thinking, perceiving, and doing. Of course, some of our patterns are... Read more
For most of my life, I have been chasing a finish line. One of the initial things that drew me to Christianity was the promise of completeness. I was told “the peace you are searching for in other, worldly things is only found in Christ”. An end to suffering. A purpose. It is the thing everyone is searching for. The deeper I walk in the Christian faith, the more I see that completeness is an illusion. It leads to vices... Read more
We love competition. There is something so human about measuring a win. Life, we perceive, is about two kinds of people – winners and losers. What does it mean to win? How do I make sure I’m on the winning side of life? Everything about life points toward winning. Politics, sports, social dynamics. We can’t help but measure ourselves. It might seem like a good idea to stop trying to win. But that is a bit like asking a fish... Read more
Any church kid can tell you the definition of repentance. It is about turning around. A one-eighty. An about-face. It is a wonderful idea in theory, but the practice is elusive. Repentance is not just about being sorry for something. It is about turning over a new leaf. It is about planting a foot firmly in the ground as if to say “I’m not doing this anymore. I’m not taking one more step in this direction”. And then pivoting and... Read more
It may sound a little weird, but one of the greatest struggles about being human is living within reality. Life is hard. Really hard. And rather than face the harshness of reality, we try to escape it in a myriad of ways. We give ourselves over to addictions. We deny reality and create our own stories. We sink too deep into movies or books, using stories that are a metaphor for reality as an excuse to drift into a dreamland. The thing that is... Read more
Have you ever been standing next to a friend and someone comes up to them and says something like “I love your hair” or “I liked your column this week” and you immediately think to yourself “well, I guess my hair looks like garbage or I guess that means my column was complete gibberish!??” We are so insecure, so afraid of being exposed and found lacking, that we view the value of others over and against our own value. Competition Whether we realize... Read more
Victorious Living
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