Have you ever noticed that when writing or reading something, there is often a list of three to describe something? Such as: being a leader is about who you are, how you influence, and how you engage in culture. This is called The Rule of Three. It is a writing principle that suggest lists of three are more humorous, satisfying, and effective than any other number. There are three little pigs, three musketeers, and three billy goats gruff. Think about... Read more
I’ve wanted to be a writer my entire life. One of my favorite things to do is read a biography about a famous writer, to hear the process they use and the story of how they got published. What I am really doing is looking for a shortcut. I’m looking for some magic bullet, some secret sauce to teleport me to where I want to be. We all do this in a thousand different ways. This is why we lie... Read more
Relationships are built on trust. An abundance of it leads to thriving. An absence of it is toxic. The hard thing about trust is how fickle it can be. Trust wavers based on our attitudes, our circumstances, and our expectations. It shifts with the stories we create in our heads and the trials we face. While shifting circumstances constantly try our ability to trust one another, like waves crashing against an oceanic vessel, they do not control our choices. They are not... Read more
Attitude is like an accessory we put on and wear every day. It jangles and rubs and reveals itself throughout the circumstances of our lives. We cannot escape the reality of having to confront our attitude. Throughout the day, we make adjustments according to its prompting. Our attitude is closely tied to our emotions. But they are not synonyms. The way we feel is an alert, an invitation. Attitude is the response to that invitation. While emotions are largely patterned, attitude... Read more
One thing that fundamentally shapes how we think, feel, and believe is our perspective on influence. It informs what we expect and how we behave. There are three elements at play when we consider influence. Our character, our community, and our culture. We hold these three in tension. We realize that, at least to some degree, they are interconnected. Each is affected by the others. But which comes first? Which leads the way? Do they all carry equal weight? At times, this... Read more
I’ve noticed an interesting phenomena in today’s world. It seems like we are becoming increasingly dependent on our institutions. When I worked at a church, I constantly heard people talk about what the church wasn’t doing and how they were suffering for it. We talk about voting as if it were the one moral obligation of our society and as if lawmakers are responsible for the ills of society. At the college we work at, students and parents are expecting... Read more
In two years of working with individuals and organizations, we have seen that there is nothing more important to people than meaning. We are driven by a desire for purpose. We want to be significant, or at least participate in something significant. Each of us is searching for fulfillment. We want a life that satisfies. One that does not feel so empty or passionless, where we are going through the motions, stuck in ruts, and trapped in cycles of apathy.... Read more
By definition, our values are the things that are most important to us. Yet, for some reason, we don’t really trust our values. We are constantly apologizing for them or sweeping them under a rug or barricading them behind walls of self-preservation. Our values are the fuel of meaning in our lives. So, why are we so afraid of them? Why don’t we trust our values? Too Real We have a lot of false expectations for our values. We expect them... Read more
Family is one of, if not the, most important arenas of life. Our families are little societies, communities, cultures of their own. They help shape who we are, what we value, and how we see the world. They are where we are meant to feel most secure, most known, and most cared for. But this isn’t always the case. Family is also one the biggest sources of anger and emotional scarring. Life with other people is hard. If we’re not careful,... Read more
It may seem obvious to view conflict as a negative entity. We don’t like the emotions that come with disagreement. But the truth is, conflict is neutral. In and of itself, it is neither positive nor negative. It is the way we approach, handle, and resolve conflict that determines whether it becomes a bad thing or a good thing. Like most things, it is our choices that determine the value of conflict. As such, there are two kinds of conflict.... Read more
Victorious Living
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