Relationships are hard. And as the epitome of human connectedness, intimacy, and proximity, marriage might be the hardest of them all. The reason marriage is so difficult is because two people have to merge into one (while also keeping unique identities). This is also what makes marriage so beautiful. Done well, marriage can be a source of energy, encouragement, and fulfillment. Done wrong, it can be a mitigated disaster. While many of us are struggling deeply, all of us have... Read more
One of the things we long for is consistency of character. We want to be the same person, through and through. Sounds easy enough. But it isn’t. The weight of circumstance drifts us to and fro like the rip of a tide. Blown by the wind and tossed by the waves, it is hard to keep our footing in an ever-changing landscape of challenges, triumphs, and trials. Shifting Terrain The reason for our inconsistencies are the uneven terrains of life.... Read more
Pain hurts. It is unpleasant. A digging kind of sorrow. A nagging sort of torture. As such, we avoid pain at all costs. It is a classic human instinct. We see pain coming and we fight or run. We hide from pain. The fear of agony cripples us. When inevitable pain finds its way into our story, we do our best to quiet it. We rub dirt over it, sweep it under the rug, pretend it isn’t there. We lie to our... Read more
We humans have an uncanny ability. Somehow, we try to control too much. At the same time, we avoid taking responsibility for what we can control. We blame others when our responsibilities aren’t met while we try desperately to adopt the responsibilities of others. Ownership is an important part of life. Taking responsibility for what is truly ours. So is empowerment, the ability to let go of things that are not ours to carry. Walking the Tightrope Innately, we recognize there is a... Read more
There are two major motivators lurking in the hearts of mankind: fear and hope. It may seem easy enough to distinguish between the two. But we are so good at self-deception that we may be lying to ourselves. Every day, we wake up and there are some coals in our fire. These coals are the motivators that drive our attitude, perspective, and behavior throughout the day. Whether it is victim mentality, denial, a lack of self-awareness, or any other hosts of avoidance-tactics,... Read more
Ever noticed how nobody ever says, “I’ve got this sentence stuck in my head!”? There is something magical about music. Something about it connects to the rhythm of our hearts. There is a kind of harmony that words and tune make within our soul that reach us at a deeper level. This is why we get songs stuck in our head. There is something sticky about it. We hear all sorts of ‘songs’ throughout our day. The world is full... Read more
As we journey through the vast terrains of life, a pilot emerges. The thing driving the ship. And one of the most popular choices is fear. Particularly, the fear of death. Not knowing what happens next bleeds into a general concern for what is around every corner. We’re afraid of rejection. Afraid of the unknown. Afraid of fear. The list is long and habit-forming. One of the few guarantees in life is that it will one day end. That much... Read more
It’s been a long workweek. You’re tired and in need of some rest. Saturday is quickly approaching. What should you do? Sleep in? Go to the beach? Catch up on chores around the house? How you spend your free days during the week will determine your priorities. So, what are the options? And which is best? First, we must make the distinction between an off day and a rest day. An off day is a break from life. A rest day is... Read more
As much as we avoid pain, there are several benefits to turmoil. Although it hurts, there are a few things that can be gained exclusively (or most effectively) through suffering. It is for these reasons, perhaps, that pain is allowed in our world. It may not be ‘good’ in and of itself, and is certainly something we steer clear of. Yet, the inevitable let downs, disappointments, and traumas of life are a uniquely fertile ground for some of life’s most essential... Read more
Every day we look at our reflection in the mirror. We also steal glances into reflective surfaces like windows. Studies show that we look at ourselves in this way upwards of sixty times a day. Most of the time, we are looking at our physical appearance. We’re trying to discern if our outfit looks good or our makeup is smeared or a hair is out of place. But have you ever locked eyes with yourself in the mirror? How does... Read more
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