Crucifying Ourselves
These two forces pull at Toller’s own soul—that of anger and death and despair, and that of hope and life and love. But Toller’s own warped, Christ-like complex drag him toward Michael’s side.
We’re told (and see for ourselves) that Toller suffers greatly for a great many things, and he seems disinclined to put a stop to it. He must suffer: It’s his duty, he feels. He’s hurting. The world’s hurting. Such sin and suffering demands retribution. It demands blood—perhaps his.
Can God forgive us? Michael’s question echoes in his head. Can God forgive him? He sent his only son to die in a war neither believed in. He turns his back on those who’d try to help him. He seems determined to destroy himself.
Reason provides no answers, he once told Michael. Holding hope and despair in your head simultaneously … that is life itself.
But he forgets, even though he’s right. Reason provides no answers for him. Despair has won. And then …