The Data Is In: Moms Are Happier Than You Think

In a society focused on independence and self-care, the idea of being a mom is losing its appeal. Many see it as a sacrifice that requires giving up the life they know. While motherhood does come with its share of sacrifices, what you gain is so much greater.

In a recent study, conducted by Wheatley Institute and the Institute for Family Studies (IFS), on Marriage and Motherhood, research shows that those who are mothers report feeling a greater sense of enjoyment, social connection, and a clear purpose in life, than those who aren’t.

With marriage and childbirth rates on the decline in the US, you can’t help but wonder why. Does the single, childless life come across as more appealing? To some, it might. Becoming a parent is a big decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly, but it should be made based on the truth, not out of fear, or based on skewed societal views of motherhood.

Don’t be fooled by those who say “your life is over” once you have kids. That’s one sentiment I’ve never understood. When you become a mother, the most significant chapter of your life begins.

Greater Joy in Motherhood

Society may paint moms as unhappy, nagging, and exhausted zombies… and while we all have our moments, that’s far from the reality.  It turns out moms are found to be overall happier than those without kids. Out of the 3,000 women surveyed between ages 25-55, those with kids reported higher levels of happiness and enjoyment in their lives than those without kids.

Have you ever see a toddler blowing bubbles or heard siblings laughing uncontrollably together? What about the sound of a baby’s giggle? Have you seen the awe on a child’s face when they see something for the first time? That kind of joy can’t be bought, and motherhood holds moments of treasure like that every single day.

Deeper Social Connection

In today’s world, it may seem like single women are the most social, going out constantly, with the freedom and time to do as they please. However, the results of this survey show otherwise! Women who are married with children report a much lower amount of loneliness and isolation than those who are single and childless. Single women also reported struggling to make friends more than those married or unmarried with children.

While the forms of socialization may look different when you get married and have kids, one thing’s for sure – it doesn’t “kill your social life”.

I can tell you, firsthand, how having kids has had a huge impact on my level of socialization. It has encouraged me to make “Mom friends” who I can relate to and bond with over shared parenting joys and struggles. Raising children has also contributed to my husband and I becoming more involved in our church, forming a supportive community of people who feel like family.

Sense of Purpose and Meaning

This study, by Wheatley and IFS, shows that, on average, women with children report feeling a deeper sense of purpose in their lives than women without children. The study reported that mothers are more likely to strongly agree to the statements, ““what I do in life is valuable and worthwhile” and “my life has a clear sense of purpose.”

Twice as many married women with kids reported having a “clear sense of purpose in life” than those who are married without children. The same sentiment was expressed by unmarried mothers as well, at around 10% more than those unmarried without children.

Children, no doubt, bring a sense of purpose and meaning to your life. Motherhood may not always feel glamorous, but it’s one of the biggest responsibilities you’ll ever have. Nothing makes you feel quite as needed as an entire life depending on you for survival.

When you become a Mom, God entrusts a precious child of his into your care. I can’t imagine anything more meaningful than that.

Motherhood Gives You More

More of everything. Though having kids can lead to more exhaustion and stress at times, as you can see from this study, it also brings more joy, contentment, and meaning to your life.

Being a mom has made me feel things on a deeper level than ever before. I’ve experienced unshakeable emotions of fear and guilt along with immeasurable moments of happiness.  Chaos and noise have ensued, and yet a peace overwhelms me. 

Most importantly, motherhood has brought me closer to Jesus. I’ve fallen to my knees in prayer, realizing how much I need him on a daily basis. Being a Mom has given me perspective. I’ve gained a glimpse of how God sees us, as I interact with my own children. It’s taught me humility and stretched my patience. Motherhood is making me more like Jesus, every day.

Don’t let society, cultural norms, or media determine your outlook on motherhood. Look at the data and talk to real moms you know about their experience. Chances are, you’ll find out motherhood doesn’t mean losing yourself after all, but quite the opposite!