The lessons she offered me started out like a brutal mugging at thorn-point, but I learned things–really important things about how to be in healthy, loving relationship with others – by first having the lessons on what NOT to do. From these, she delivered the Four Rules of Witchcraft for Personal Sovereignty, that are mentioned below. At the time, I was still trying to figure out what practical advice could be framed in those terms.
Aphrodite’s Superpower: “Rose-Colored Glasses
Anyway, for some reason today I am once more prompted to re-post them here at Witch on Fire. May the message find its way to those who need it the most.
A Love Message for WomenOriginally posted Sept. 1, 2015
The wounded women of the world often bitch about how there are no good men left out there, or that all men are the same: philandering, heartless, mindless animals. For a while there, I was one of them. Those are the wounds talking. We are projecting our fears of betrayal in a broad stroke over 50% of humanity and that is assholery at it’s finest. Besides, if animals are what we expect to find, then that is all we will find, regardless of who is standing before us. The blinders of our wounds will unfairly reinforce our suspicions. Humans will rise or fall to meet our expectations. Don’t burn the Witch.
Furthermore, there are just as many men suffering from the wounds inflicted by the careless women who abused the intimacy of their relationships, deeply scarring the men in their lives. There are men out there who have been given no good reason to trust the women in their lives, and it breaks my heart. Women are equally guilty of being the “bad guy.” Responsibility to be the sort of person you think everyone should be begins and ends with you, and there are no good excuses for harmful actions against our well-meaning brothers. Men have feelings, too. Men need healthy trust in their relationships, too. Don’t be the Asshole.
The bottom line: Hurting people hurt more people.
What is the common denominator in every failed relationship you’ve ever had?
The good news is that you have the power to change YOU, and the power to choose which relationships you feed. We are personally responsible for ending the cycle of woundings by attending to our own healing, breaking the chain of abuse, and being strong within the sphere of our own influence.
We can set healthy boundaries. Perhaps the other people in your life have never witnessed what the maintaining of healthy boundaries even looks like. Perhaps, since they have no frame of reference, they misinterpret these strong, boundary-maintaining actions as your being a “bitch.” I challenge you to find the least-bitchy way to still rise in strength as a sovereign being, and show ’em what beneficial womanhood looks like. All of us witches have the solemn duty to model that healthy strength for others to learn from. Don’t be the Weak Link.
BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD, my sisters. You are in charge of you. At the end of the day, no one else can be blamed for the choices you make, the relationships you are in, the way you speak to others, your actions, and your thoughts. The only control you have is over your own choices, and with whom you invest your time and energy. You must be present to win.
Flip that message to also mean that if your partner refuses to honor your boundaries, even after you’ve given them a chance to rise to the occasion, then you release them and retreat to a safe distance.
I call this Namasté Away: The Spirit in me, honorably releases the Spirit in you, to pursue your own happiness at a distance that I will define…until such time that you cease to wear your own ass as ear-muffs, and start acting right. Until then, be gone!
The message my Goddess Aphrodite wishes to impart to us all:
“The heart prepared to receive love is the one already opened from the giving of love.”
In Perfect Love and Trust,