Ling’s had her learner’s permit for a whole 12 days.  I avoided driving with her the first week, when Scott took her out 3 times.  I resisted her pressuring me to let her drive during our trip to Chicago.  (“I’m 100% positive that it’s not in the rental car agreement to let an unlicensed 16 year old drive.”) But then Monday night, exactly a week from when Ling got her learner’s permit, Scott booted me out of the front seat of... Read more

There’s nothing like a college reunion to raise a slew of emotions—and for me, amidst much joy, laughter and celebration, lay the bittersweet taint of regret. Last week, I took my daughter on our first college tour, and attended a reunion celebrating the 25thanniversary of the Northwestern University Graduate Christian Fellowship.  And while I enjoyed every bit of the whole process (other than developing some weird tendonitis on the top of my right foot from walking so much), regret inserted itself... Read more

Dear Rick, Let me tell you why I’m professing love for a man not my husband in a public post. 4 years ago, a week into summer vacation, my daughter trounced into the house with the CDs for your YA novel, The Lightning Thief, which had been assigned as summer reading. Ling had already borrowed the book from the library and finished it. “We HAVE to listen to this book–it’s SO good, even though it’s really scary.” That became the summer of... Read more

On Saturday, my oldest child turned 16.  On Monday, she got her learner’s permit.  And yesterday, I walked with her all over my alma mater, Northwestern–our first ever college tour.  Today we look at University of Chicago. Whew!  Time flies when you’re having (or even not having) fun. As I’ve talked about this college trip at the end of her sophomore year, almost everyone (including my husband), says something like, “Wow, you’re starting early!” And of course, I suspect they’re... Read more

My kids all have “Gift Giving” as their language of love. I do not. They love birthday gifts and Christmas gifts, special treats during the week, little surprises on a shopping trip.  And as they’ve gotten older, they also like giving gifts.  So as my birthday and Mother’s Day came 2 weeks apart, “What do you want?” became an ongoing refrain. “Obedience.” Many eye rolls.  “No!  What do you really want?” “I really want obedience.” More huffs, puffs and shaking of heads, “No, what do you really... Read more

Scott and I had a rocky relationship, oh, the first 10 years of marriage.  But the first months were the worst, and the worst of the worst was laundry day.  Doing laundry in our Manhattan 4th floor walk-up apartment was daunting.  We had to carry the laundry down four flights, across a city block, and down into the basement of another building.  When it was done, we had to carry it all the way back up.  Whether laundry day came... Read more

What does it mean when you desire a hot fudge sundae more than sex with your loving, gorgeous, faithful, and servant-hearted husband? When I was still nursing my 2nd child, I attended a women’s conference with the goal of talking to friends about nurturing my marriage while having zero sex drive.  One friend, a former missionary in Africa, said, “That’s why polygamy always made sense to me.  If one wife is nursing and has no sex drive, the husband can go... Read more

“Please don’t have her ask me to start a college ministry,” I prayed as I met with my pastor Meli to talk about what I’d be doing for my senior year practicum 25 years ago. Meli outlined the internship involving visiting the sick and dying, co-teaching two Sunday school classes, attending staff meetings and retreats and shadowing her through her day. And I kept praying she wouldn’t ask me to start a college ministry.  I had already watched 3 attempts crash... Read more

Yesterday I turned 47.  Here are some random thoughts that my birthday brought: 1.     There was no 2012 journal on my computer.  I thought I should reflect and pray first thing on my birthday and found no journal.  How could that be?  How could one of my most fundamental spiritual practices have fallen to the wayside to the point where I don’t even have a 2012 journal??  On reflection, I think the journal I started disappeared in my end-of-January hard... Read more

Math has been my enemy.  You’d think I’d like it because Baba’s a physicist with a Ph.D. in applied mathematics and Mama was a physics major and computer programmer way back in the late ‘50s and early ‘60s.  But he did physics to please his father when he would have rather studied politics.  She was a Chinese immigrant who could speak the language of math and science when English was difficult. Growing up, Mama often intoned, “Math and science is... Read more