Because Fr. Dwight Longenecker Is Wrong UPDATED

What the Sam Hill are you talking about Frank? How dare you say one of the favorite priests of the faithful is wrong about anything! Well, I remember a week or so ago folks were digging how to be a jet-powered, human dolphin. As if that would be a cool present to receive for Christmas. Humbug! How about something a little more practical? Like “cheap speed!” Here’s the thing. Early in November, Father Dwight wrote a blog post about “Boomer Cars” resulting in us becoming Facebook friends. Sometimes this works out well, sometimes not. I’m saying that it has worked out well, except in one teeny, weeny, little department: he’s prejudiced… about cars. I mean, and trust me, I love Fr. Dwight like a “Father” and all, but he thinks the Chevrolet Camaro is better than the Ford Mustang.

So I did the only thing that I could do. I called him a heretic.

Don’t make me make an obvious religious analogy. Because, you see, the Ford Mustang is the original “Pony Car.” Lee Iacocca’s brainchild spawned the whole “Pony Car” category of muscle cars. Without the Mustang, there wouldn’t have even been “cheap” speed available to the motoring public.

Besides, Chevrolet already had the Corvette, which, for the price, beats the pants off of any other sports car just about the world over, both then and now. But I’m talking “cheap,” Joe Six-Pack affordable, speed. And that is where the Mustang shines.

You say, “Frank, you are just biased because you own a Mustang.” And I say to you, “of course I do. Because it’s the original and the best.”

And mine helped make me a Catholic too, in a mechanical, minor-miraculous, sort of way. But like Blaise Pascal said, People are generally better persuaded by the reasons which they have themselves discovered than by those which have come into the mind of others.

So Fr. Dwight? Discover what looking at the Mustang’s tail lights at the end of the quarter mile feels like. Discover what the braking distances show. Discover what the road course lap times, and skid-pad numbers conclude. Did I mention discovering “power-to-weight ratios?” Heck, I’ll even throw in that overweight slug of the Dodge Challenger into the comparison in order to give your Camaro SS some (much needed) help.

The good editors at Motor Trend do all the heavy lifting for me on this one. Basic 5.0 GT Mustang (no, not the new Boss 302, or the Shelby GT 500 Camaro crushers) vs. the Camaro SS & the Dodge Challenger SRT8. Want to bet “pink slips” anyone?

Hmmm. I had also showed Fr. Dwight this old story of a one-off Godzilla Mustang vs. a bespoke Camaro (call it Rhodan) in which the Mustang won in 2 out of three categories, but he still didn’t “get it.” And when I shared the story with him that the wonderful folks at Ford plan on producing a Mustang that puts out over 650 horsepower? He still had scales over his eyes!

Do you think showing him that the new Mustang came within the width of a hair on my head of beating a BMW M-3 in a comparison test would make a difference? All I can say is…pray for him folks. Pray hard, for he probably thinks his motorcycle is faster than these cars.

And remember, “hate the heresy, but love the heretic.” 😉

*Disclaimer time: Drive responsibly. If you race, do so under controlled conditions at the Street Legal drags in your area; or join a club that lets you drive fast on a racetrack, or take up autocrossing. But you can keep that dolphin jet-pack thingy.

UPDATE (10/6/2012):

Let’s revisit this and take it up a notch. The 2013 Ford Shelby Mustang can go 200 miles per hour?! You can’t do that on the 405. But guess where you can?

And what about the Battle of the Top Dawgs? This one may make Fr. Dwight smile, but not after he lost his pink slip. Brake upgrades? It’s what Mustang enthusiasts do in their driveway on a Saturday afternoon. Randy Pobst knows.

And how about this? “It was like watching Secretariat win the Belmont Stakes by 31 lengths to take the Triple Crown in 1973…This is a performance so ungodly that the Vatican should launch an investigation.”

Yep. 😀