Have You Purchased Your Susan G. Komen Pistol Yet? UPDATED

Aw…ain’t it cute? OK, file this one under the “Truth is stranger than fiction” category. Because it’s for real.

That is, unless you’re like me and you realize that any pistol not available in 9MM is a complete waste of money. Why’s that, you ask? Because if you need a weapon during the zombie apocalypse, you want your ammunition supply to be readily available. That’s why you stick with standard NATO calibers, and never get cute with custom calibers, like the Vatican did back in the day.

The other reason is simple too. A 9MM might save your life, because at close range, it has enough stopping power to be effective at protecting you. This silly little collectors item, on the other hand, is chambered only in .22LR, which will basically piss the person your firing at off, unless you’re skilled enough to aim for their eyes. But that’s just Joe Six-Pack USMC’s opinion.

For this reason, this “weapon” should be called “The Irritator.” Ooh…here’s a marketing pitch idea for it! “The Irritator: Guaranteed to piss off whoever you fire it at. Buy one today (where real handguns are sold).”

The story about this weapon was ironically wrapped around the news of the Komen/Planned Parenthood divorce/reconciliation imbroglio, out of the CBS Affiliate in Seattle, WA. But don’t feel bad, dear reader. You too can purchase one through Discount Gun Sales, proud distributor of the P-22 Peashooter. All for only $429.99 and a background check.

UPDATE: Unlicensed Peashooter? Uh-oh, I smell a lawsuit.