Pat Robertson: “Halloween is Satan’s Night”

Halloween is just around the corner. Which is awesome because you can buy HUGE bags of candy and eat it all yourself!

Oh, you’re supposed to give that candy out to kids?

Sounds like begging to me.

If they want candy, then they should get a job and buy their own candy. It’s the American way!

Speaking of Halloween, this will probably come as a big shocker, but it turns out that Pat Robertson isn’t a big fan of Halloween.

As he continues his parade of insight with well thought out, reflected advice like “divorce your spouse with Alzhiemer’s” Pat uses this installment to remind us that Halloween is really Satan’s night.

So, I for one am taking his advice and buying up all the candy for myself so that small children won’t be tempted to participate in demonic activity.