How to Love the Good Man You Actually Have, Not the Prince You Don’t

1 love the man you have not the prince you don’t Shaunti feldhahn patheos

Yes, I’ve watched that ultimate wish-fulfillment holiday chick flick, A Christmas Prince. So has my teenage daughter. Six times. Netflix recently called out the many people who have watched it every day since it was released — and asked, “Who hurt you?”  

Even as I was snuggled on the couch on a cold winter’s day, watching the syrupy-sweet movie with my daughter (my first time, her fourth – yes, I know I was enabling her), I was thinking “This is so cheesy… why do I like it so much?”  Whether you’re a multi-watcher of cheesy movies or a mocker of those who are…. why do those plot lines appeal to so many of us so much?  

It is because they call to our deeper desires. We all can fall into the trap of idolizing a fairytale romance, especially women. Which is one reason it can be so sneakily dangerous to our real relationships!   It was interesting that when I was investigating what makes the happiest couples so happy, I learned some key tips to remember as you watch the next Hallmark movie.

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  • Shaunti, I gave up romance movies years ago…just about 4-5 years after I got married. But before that, I gobbled up the romance. I loved all the crazy romance, the thrill of falling in love, and knowing (deep in my heart!) that it will all end happily ever after.

    But that is where the books stopped. Time and Time again. Never continuing on to the daily struggles of life, children, job loss, dirty laundry, paying bills. Where was my happily ever after now? Definitely not in those books.

    Once in a while a chick-flick like this is ok, but not a steady diet. And you can have a lot more fun spending time with your husband playing games or go out to dinner than feasting on another fantasy movie! Love, Johanna

  • Jason Trout

    Shaunti, I don’t understand why you and your daughter can nearly brag about the guilty pleasure of watching, and rewatching, movies like A Christmas Prince, but then shame men for watching porn. Realize the hypocrisy?