A friend told me recently that her husband always seems to run from any conflict in their marriage. Not literal running, mind you, but when things get intense—especially if she starts crying—he’s heading out the door while all she wants is resolution. She wants him to stay; he needs space and leaves. She feels hurt; he’s done with the conversation. My friend asked me how she can move forward with him when this happens. He’s a great guy but running away when he’s mad seems so unhealthy. And not to mention rude.
In my research for For Women Only, I learned a lot about how men are wired to relate emotionally in relationships. And the way they’re wired is very legitimate; it is often just different from the way we are wired.But before I jump into this, let me say first: If any man wants to love his wife or his girlfriend well, he should not just walk away from an emotional conversation without notice. Turning and walking away? That is rude. And leaving your wife or girlfriend hanging, and in distress, wondering, “Are we okay?” That is hurtful. But we women sometimes feel like the only reason they walk away is that they are angry with us and simply don’t want to talk because of that.
We couldn’t be more wrong.
Here are 2 main reasons why men walk away from emotional conflict: