The BadCatholic Drinking Game

I got this from a reader today. It’s awesome. I cannot be held responsible for any deaths that result.

The BadCatholic Drinking Game

Take a drink:

- When a post can be summed up using a Chesterton quote
- When you can identify the author he’s been reading
- When someone comments thinking Marc’s arguing the exact opposite point
- When someone comments expressing disappointment over crude language in the post
- When a comment thread is longer than 20 comments
-  Make a White Russian when a post is later commented on by the Friendly Atheist. Two if he quotes a paragraph out of context.
- Shot for everyone who comments that the Catholic Church hates women/gays/Jews/little boys/fun. Extra shot if you’re confident they only read the title of the post. Another if you’re confident they’ve only read the title of the blog. (“Bad Catholic? I hate Catholics! Uhhh sex abuse! Sith Lords!”)
- Double drink for double parenthesis (triple drink for triple parenthesis! (yahoo!))
- Bourbon sip every time he confuses “its” and “it’s” or “your” and “you’re”
- Every time he makes a snide comment demeaning the value of the Huffington Post and/or Planned Parenthood and/or Catholics for Choice
- Small, dignified sips of wine every time you catch passive voice being used by Marc lololol
- Chug a beer every time you get the sneaking suspicion that a blog post is a method of dealing with existential angst/Catholic guilt/complex justification of past sins
- THREE shots every time a homeschool mom asks Marc if he’s single and/or hints at the priesthood
- Shot of a drink that reminds you of college every time someone makes a remark about his age. Smirnoff Ice, anyone?
- And a final shot if you had no clue what he was talking about but commented anyway.

Happy drinking.

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  • Ryan Brightside Kuramitsu

    beautiful. thank you for this.

  • Tom

    What about comparisons to C.S. Lewis or G.K. Chesterton?

  • RyanKraeger

    And I was thinking I might just go through your archives…Well, this looks like it’s going to be a long, long, long night!

  • Joe Cool

    Well, there goes my liver.

  • Ryan M.

    After I read this list, my liver turned in its (“it’s”?) 2 week notice…

    • Christina Thérèse

      You used the right spelling of “its” there. Something that helped me understand the difference was this quote from a syllabus from one of my favorite professors: “‘Its’ is the possessive. You don’t write ‘hi’s’; don’t write ‘it’s,’ unless you intend to use the contraction for ‘it is.’”

      (Disclaimer: This is just meant as a friendly kudos and piece of help for the future, not as anything annoying and trollish.)

  • Amy Brooks Cooper

    I absolutely loved this. For those wanting to fulfill their get healthy New Years resolution …. Perhaps they could drink water for each correct answer…. Ha.

    • Matt LaMar

      Mother of all bathroom trips

    • musiciangirl591

      that can kill you :P

  • Matthew_Roth

    That’s just plain awesome.

  • Mary Liz Bartell

    Glad to be stocked in my liquor cabinet for this! LOL! I was just wondering if this would encourage drunkeness and carousing that St. Paul says are sins of the Flesh in Galatians. Better use a medicine dropper instead of shot glasses! LOL!

  • Catherine

    Could you possibly be any more awesome? Maybe if you made a Catholic drinking game for books with Catholic messages (LOTR)…
    But regardless, you are my hero

  • mk


  • Theresa

    I’m looking forward to not being pregnant anymore so I can participate! AWESOME!

  • Trollface

    “No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness – or as good as drink.”
    -G.K. Chesterton. (How dare you say drinking is bad! (And why would you use such crude language as “Catholics For Choice” or “Planned Parenthood”. (The Catholic church hates fun things like beer but its good for you, ask Chesterton.))) Have you considered the priesthood? How old are you again? Happy stomach pump everybody!

  • Alipius

    Dude! I’m wasted out of my gourd already!

  • Mandy P

    I am way to old to do these things but this made me smile today!

  • EJT

    Never could drink Vodka…even sips of water would probably kill you…throw your system out of balance : )
    (I think I liked the comments as much as the post) lol.

  • Fisherman

    You forgot anytime he makes a Tolkien reference. Drink a pint.

    • Joe Cool

      It comes in pints?!

      • John Francis

        I’m getting one!

        • Fisherman

          Yes my evil plan to trigger LotR quotes worked.

  • Guest

    Thanking God (sincerely) that I found this after I read through the archives and not before…

  • Caitlin

    Thanking God (sincerely) that you posted this after I read through the archives and not before…

  • Paul

    Well, it was about time I traded in my heart for a liver so that I could drink more and care less…

  • Cal-J

    “- THREE shots every time a homeschool mom asks Marc if he’s single and/or hints at the priesthood”

    Where’s that damned tankard?

  • Maddie

    Ohmygosh I laughed so hard! :)

    • Maddie

      I can’t drink of course, but…I’m still giggling!

  • David A. Carlson

    And let’s not forget Saint Bibina, Patron Saint of Hangovers. I’m sure anyone playing this game will need her prayers.

  • severuck

    not enough alcohol in the world for this blog i’m afraid…

  • Andrew O’Neill

    This is a very expensive game.

  • Sarah

    As a homeschooling mom I’m offended…that my two kids had to point this out to me before I read it. Chin up!

  • musiciangirl591

    oh if i was 21, i would have so much fun :)

  • GK Student

    What about taking down a pint of your favorite ale or any drink you prefer when the media goes out of business, gets sued, makes an apology for misinformation and/or damaging and/or anything libel person’s life and dignity, the media repents, and when the honest truth is reported with real and true charity.

  • Rachel K

    I feel like there needs to be one about the meme pictures, but I can’t put my finger on what. Just drinking every time there’s a meme picture would kill you in ten seconds.

  • Viterbo Fangirl

    Bottoms up, everyone! Number five is more than fulfilled!

  • Joan of Arc

    If we played this game for more than like 10 minutes we’d all die of alcohol poisoning.

  • Tiff Comiskey

    Are you trying to kill people with this game? Not everyone has the liver or recovery time of young 20-somethings.