Still Pregnant, Still Rambling

37 Zillion Weeks Pregnant

I made the Ogre take a picture of me yesterday, ostensibly to chronicle my 37 week enormity, but really because I actually took a shower and blow-dried my hair, and I wanted to mark the occasion with photographic evidence. Please note that immediately proceeding this picture the Ogre measured me, and found that I am 4 feet 3 inches around. Which is why my smile is slightly forced.

Thank you all for your wonderfully sympathetic comments and your prayers. At my 37 week appointment this morning, the doctor found that my fluid levels have gone down a tiny bit and the baby’s head is already engaged, making a cord prolapse extremely unlikely. She seemed relieved and much less worried, and even said that a 39 week induction was now optional rather than mandatory. I’m hoping it won’t be necessary to even consider it, seeing as how I’m already dilated and effaced and I’ve been having these great, no-joke contractions all morning since the appointment. I even optimistically went straight from the appointment to Whole Foods, hoping that the oh-so-pleasant cervical check would incite my water to break, but in vain. Sadly my water did not break, even though I lingered hopefully for a while near the “eco-friendly soy organic clothing for women the size of my left leg”.

In other navel-gazing baby news, Lincoln already weighs 7 lbs 3 oz, and while the rest of him is measuring 38 weeks, his head is measuring 41 weeks. Say it with me — “OUCH!” Yeah. Even though I’d like to skip the epidural again this time, seeing the enormous, gigantic head on my belly-dweller is making that whole “needle in my spine” thing seem a lot less frightening. And after all, what are the odds that I’ll get a drunk anesthesiologist twice in one lifetime? Surely I can’t be that unlucky, right?

Anyway. I was going to write another rambly post two days ago, but I realized when I sat down to the computer that it was September 11th, and writing about anything other than 9/11 seemed wrong. However, I don’t have anything to contribute to the reflections and remembrances that swirled around the internet, and trying to come up with something to write about seemed really self-serving and horrible. So I didn’t write at all. Then yesterday I actually got up, showered, got dressed, had coffee with my neighbors, took Charlotte to ballet, registered as a parishioner a mere 9 months after we moved, and did other stuff adults do. It was exhausting and foreign, so I had to lay on the couch all afternoon while the kids watched “Spiderman” and recuperate. Today I’ve already gone to the doctor, Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, and Target, plus I’m writing this blog post and I’m going to do laundry, pay bills, and make brownies after I’m done. That means this weekend I’ll be lying on my couch, waiting for someone to bring me a trophy for being so responsible.

Seriously, being a grown-up is exhausting. It’s less exhausting when you don’t have a 7 1/2 pound minion beating the crap out of your kidneys and repeatedly shoving his enormous head against your cervix, causing no end of embarrassing doubling-over moments that you can’t explain when people ask if you’re okay because apparently the word “cervix” grosses out the rest of the world (sorry, world). But even when you’re lithe and lean and your uterus is the size of a grape or whatever, don’t you just get exhausted, trying to be responsible? Don’t you just want to turn to your husband and say, “Look, dude, you be the grown-up this year. I’m gonna swan off and teach college students to be brilliant like me while drinking coffee all day long.” No? It’s just me, then? Okay. Awesome. *cue awkward silence*

Just kidding. (About the teaching students thing, not about anything else.) I know my husband works really, really hard, as do the other professors I know. They get very little sleep, no glory, (unless you’re a professor at Harvard or something) and have to put up with a lot of crap, plus they’re actually responsible for making sure their students learn what they’re supposed to learn. I, on the other hand, would teach a college class like this:

Welcome to Medieval Lit! I know this class is called “Medieval Lit”, but what we’re really going to be focusing on this semester is Salman Rushdie, because I like him better than the entirety of Medieval Literature. Don’t complain, okay, this’ll be way more fun, I promise. Plus if you’re good maybe we can watch some Bollywood movies, just for the hell of it. Bonus points to anyone who can make curry for the class. India FTW!

And that’s why my husband is getting his doctorate while I persist in my delusion that I would have made a way better professor of English Literature. (But admit it, that class sounds like fun, right?)

This appears to be my entire blog post for the day. I don’t know what to say about the absolute de-evolution of my blogging skills. I’d make you a brownie to repay you for the time you just wasted, but you’d have to come to Southwest Florida to get it. And there’s no guarantee that I won’t be in labor by the time you get here, so that is essentially an empty offer.

Here! Read this! It’s about the Hunger Games, and it’s on It’s hilarious. Now this wasn’t a total waste of your time. Enjoy the rest of your day.


  • Rebecca @ Shoved to Them

    I would absolutely take that class and I would own it! I don’t know why they wouldn’t let you teach it. It sounds way more fun than the history of medieval whatchamacallit.

    I’ll take that brownie. I’m on my way and should be there in 4 days. It would take 2 1/2 but I have to pee a lot. 7 kids….. you know.

  • Sandra

    Calah, you crack me up!!! I’ve been lurking on your blog since you were featured on CMR and was pretty stoked when I recognized you from UD! (You didn’t know me, but I always saw you and the Ogre and Sienna when she was just toddling around. Mostly at the Cap Bar, you know, where kids come from.) Not sure why I decided to pop up now and let you know now, but keep up the good blogging! Also, I’m sure you know this, but ultrasound measurements suck. I was induced with baby #1 because of the “big baby scare” (lame dr. actually said, “The longer we wait, the longer the risk of your baby dying.” ugggghhh, who says that?!? my old dr., that’s who.) and she was almost 2 lbs lighter than they said she was (7.11 lbs) and induced with #2 because she was “too small” by ultrasound measurements (this time too low by over a pound!!). Just sharing in case it might help :) Prayers for a safe delivery for you and baby!

  • K

    Don’t even spend two seconds thinking about the potential size of your baby. I have had three with a 2.5 pound difference and the smallest was by far the toughest labour and delivery. The head is engaged – you sound like you are good to go. Since I have seen a picture of you in a birthing tub in your home I am pretty sure (entirely sure, considering that is how I have had my three) that that went on sans epidural. An epidural might make the process easier but a lot of people told me it makes the recovery waaayy harder. Considering your list of “nesting” activities that you have going on you must be getting close! Good luck!

  • Angela K

    I’m 36 weeks and am a few pounds less than my husband. After reading this post, I’m tempted to measure myself around, though don’t think I have the courage to do so. Pregnancy is humbling for shure. And I second how exhausting it is to be responsible. I have a huge pile of bills and miscellaneous companies I need to call before baby, and man do I feel amazed with myself after I mark one or two things off my list, and then feel the instant need to reward myself with chocolate and a nap. Hope that baby treats you and your cervix well for the next few days or weeks!

  • jen

    i’m happy things are looking better for you. hang in there — the end is in sight!!!

  • Lena

    There is just not enough fun in grown-uphood.
    You look like Marcia Brady.

  • eliese

    You look great! Like commenter above, I’m a lurker who recognizes you and Ogre from Capp Bar (pretty sure we never met – I was a nerdy Classics major – but I know for certain we have a mutual awesome friend who supplied us with caffeine from same CBar). Anyway, I had excess fluid in my recent pregnancy too but all was well… big baby (but easier than the first, you know!), but all was well. You can do it! Blessings. Love your blog.

  • Christy

    Yay for good baby news! I’m sending you lots of “go into quick painless labor very soon” thoughts!

  • Manny

    Wow, you look as big as they get. You’re ready to pop! God bless you and the baby. May it all go well. :)

  • Marina Lehman

    Calah, you are pregnant awesomeness in that picture! Here’s hoping for a quick, “easy” (do they actually come in the “easy” variety?), complication free delivery. Soon.