Minion Monday

Blog-wise, Mondays are always a killer for me. Today is no exception, with the oldest minion down for the count and home sick with a sore throat that is, alas, not sore enough to keep her quiet. I may not be able to get any real think-blogging done on Mondays, but the minions are always good for a laugh or twelve, so I hereby designate Mondays intellectual property of the Alexander minions.

Me: “Sienna, sometimes I think I’m so lucky to have a daughter like you.”

Sienna (smiling sweetly): “You are lucky.”

*

Charlotte: “Mommy, my eyes hurt.

Sienna: “Don’t say that, Charlotte! If you tell Mommy your eyes hurt she’ll make you go to the eye doctor and get your eyes annihilated!

*

Charlotte: “Mommy, I’m afraid to go to sleep because there’s a monster behind my door.

Me: “How about if I check and make sure there’s no monster?

Charlotte: *smiles and nods*

Me: *pulls door back and peeks around, then opens it wide* “See, look, there’s no monster there!

Charlotte: “Well there was one, but Daddy killed it. With his sword.”

Me: “Good thing Daddy checked first, then!

Charlotte: “If Daddy didn’t have killed him, he would have eaten you up when you checked behind the door.

Me: “Wouldn’t you be sad if the monster had eaten me up?

Charlotte: “Well, but all of your blood would have come out.”

Me: *stares at Bad Seed*

Charlotte: “And you would be dead.

Me: “Goodnight, Charlotte.

Charlotte: “Don’t you want to give me a kiss?

 

 

  • Josh

    Charlotte sounds ripe for a devotion to the crucifixion. She can channel that gore fascination into something good. This is what we did with our son who went through a long gore phase. He could ask the goriest questions about the crucifixion and I would answer them, even if they made me want to google “how old do you have to be to be sociopath?” He outgrew (most of) the gore and still has a strong connection to the crucifix. You have to meet your kids where they are, right?

  • newenglandsun

    Charlotte: “Well, but all of your blood would have come out.”

    In her mind: (and that would be freaking hilarious until…)

    Charlotte: “And you would be dead.“

    In her mind: (well that might actually still be some-what hilarious)

    Sorry, I have a morbid sense of humor.

  • newenglandsun

    Charlotte: “Mommy, my eyes hurt.”

    In Sienna’s mind: (Mwahahahahaha!)

    Sienna: “Don’t say that, Charlotte! If you tell Mommy your eyes hurt she’ll make you go to the eye doctor and get your eyes annihilated!”

    In Sienna’s mind: (Which would be hilarious!)

    Well, either I’m morbid or your kids are morbid. You should seriously talk to them (or me) about that.


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