A Better Barrier Method

Yesterday was the first day of spring break. We’ve finally reached the sniffly beginning of the end of the Death Virus, but I let the Ogre sleep in a little since we’re both still making up for eons of lost sleep. We all had a long, leisurely breakfast, reveling in the joy of a week with no 8 am classes for anyone, and then the kids disappeared into their room to build a block fortress while the Ogre got ready for work and I cleaned the kitchen.

As I was wiping the counters, he came into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee for the road. Instead of moving away from the coffee machine when he tapped me on the hip, I spun around and gave him a good, long kiss. When he finally came up for air, I gave him my best smoldering temptress eyes and said, “you know, the kids are happily playing together, and it’s not like you have to be at work right this second…we should totally take advantage of this and, like, make the bed together. With the door locked.”

“Is this an okay time of the month, though?” he asked.

I kissed him again and said, “oh, who cares?”

Just as a bawdy grin started to spread across his face, the kids’ bedroom door banged open and a toddler shot down the hall, squeezed between us and started shoving the Ogre with all his toddler might, yelling, “Daddy go! Daddy go!”

I sighed in frustration, but the Ogre just laughed and said, “look, the barrier method!”