2+1>3

I’m so glad I remember what those symbols stand for. It give me hope that in time, my brain will recover from the effects of young children.

I know it’s been days since I blogged. I know I missed Quick Takes on Friday, and actually shed real tears when I realized I had missed it at 11:53 pm. And since we’re on Pacific time, I couldn’t quickly bang out some quick takes and sneak them in for the later time zones. I also know that I have a great response from my father-in-law to my last post sitting in my inbox, waiting impatiently to be posted. But, you see, my husband went back to work this week.

Not only does he work at a university, which means that I dread the end of August like it’s a horseman of the Apocalypse, but he is in the process of studying for doctoral exams and beginning his thesis work.

Doctoral work = Long days

He leaves at 9 am, and I cry. Then I wipe away my tears, square my shoulders, and get breakfast for my little girls. Then the baby starts screaming, so I feed him. One of the girls always spills something or needs something about fifteen minutes later, so I swaddle the baby, put him down while begging him (and God and the universe) to stay asleep, then I clean up the mess, get more milk (eggs, yogurt, toast, strawberries…) and begin to make my own breakfast. Then the baby starts screaming and the process begins again.

Four hours later I put the girls down for a nap and finish making my breakfast, which I then eat awkwardly with my left hand while feeding the baby, who never stops eating. Once the girls wake up, some variation of this routine begins again but usually involves either peanut butter or grilled cheese, and lasts until Daddy gets home.

At which point I cry again, out of sheer relief.

The weird thing is that with this baby, unlike with my previous two, I’m not walking around proclaiming “That’s It! NO MORE!” to anyone who will listen. Actually, I keep thinking that unless I have twins in the future, this is pretty much as difficult as it’s going to get. Sienna and Charlotte are just going to continue to get older and more helpful (Sienna is already very helpful), and if I can juggle a very clingy twenty-month-old and a newborn, I kinda feel like I can take on anything. Suddenly a future that includes more children doesn’t look like such a chaotic and unbearable place. It actually looks kind of…fun.

(PS: Dear Lord, please don’t take this too seriously. I actually don’t think I can handle twins.)

(PSS: Really.)