5 Biblical Reasons to Not Have Sex Outside of Marriage

God warns us about the consequences of our sins.  What are biblical consequences of having sex outside of marriage?

The Two Become One

Whether someone likes it or not, when someone has sexual relationships outside of marriage, they are not only sinning against God or against their spouse, but they are actually sinning against their own body.  When a person has sex outside of marriage, whoever they have sex with, they are joined together with that person and the two become one.  That the two become one in marriage is what God intended but when they venture outside of their marital relationship, for example a man has sex outside of marriage, he can become one with the prostitute.

Here is what Paul says about such a relationship in 1 Corinthians 6:15-18:

“Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.  Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”

One of the main reasons that we are not to have sex outside of marriage is because that person becomes joined to…becomes one with…the person that they are having sex.  So if they have sex with someone who is committing adultery, they are joined together with the adulterer and God will not fail to judge those two who do such a thing.  I knew a man who once had an affair with a woman who was also married and so these two became one; one in adultery and they were literally “joined” with each other in sin.  That joining together, in this case for the worse, is something that will carry severe consequences.  It could result in a sexually transmitted disease, AIDS, unwanted pregnancy, and also result in divorce and the breakup of a family and home and any children in that marriage will forever be changed.  If we choose to sin we are choosing to suffer the consequences.

Exclusion from the Kingdom of Heaven

In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 Paul asks a very serious question: “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”

God cannot be mocked for whatever a person sows they are sure to reap and what greater consequence than to be cast out of the Kingdom of Heaven when Christ returns.  No believer in Christ lives in sexual immorality for they are deceived if they do such things and still believe that they are headed to heaven.  We are lying to ourselves and greatly deceived to believe that we can do such things and not pay a penalty and what greater penalty than to lose your own soul for eternity?

John says that “ We know that everyone who has been born of God does not keep on sinning, but he who was born of God protects him, and the evil one does not touch him” (1 John 5:18). 

The wording of 1 John 5:18 is clear that everyone who is born again does not keep on sinning. They might stumble and fall but true believers will repent but if they “keep on sinning” John says that they are not truly born again and someone who is committing ongoing, unrepentant sexual immorality like adultery most assuredly does not have any assurance of their going to heaven but instead may be headed to the lake of fire (Rev 20:11-15).

Financial Ruin

Can a person take a fire out of the fireplace and not be burned?  Clearly they cannot as Solomon wrote in

Proverbs 6:27 “Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned?” 

A person that is committing adultery is playing with fire and it can bring destruction to their home but not only that, it can bring financial ruin because families that go through divorce have a greater risk of living in poverty.  In this same chapter Solomon warns that “for the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread, but a married woman hunts down a precious life” (Prov 6:26).  Remember too that “he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; none who touches her will go unpunished” (Prov 6:29).  Cause and effect are in mind here because God says that whoever commits adultery will not go unpunished.  Even if a person repents from this and it is only a one-time affair, the penalty will not go away.  Is it worth going into poverty over or is it worth destroying a marriage for a one night fling?  Of course not!

Making Enemies

Proverbs 6:32-35 says that “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.  He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away. For jealousy makes a man furious, and he will not spare when he takes revenge. He will accept no compensation; he will refuse though you multiply gifts.”

There are fewer things worse than the jealous rage of a betrayed spouse.  The person who has cheated may have this in the back of their minds; what if someone finds out, what would the other spouse do if they knew, what is the risk to my life over this?  There are crimes of passion that have happened when a jealous and betrayed husband or wife discovered that their spouse has cheated on them and their angry retribution is taken out on the adulterous spouse or the one who committed adultery with their spouse.  People have died in the passion of such affairs.  What a risk there is to make enemies that will never, ever forget what the adulterer has done.  They might be looking over their shoulders for the rest of their lives or they might be seeing people whispering over this and the associated scandal that this brings.

Destroyed Reputation

I already touched on the thought that a person’s reputation can be ruined by even one affair.  Even it if happens only once, people have long memories and tend to not forget.  You lose the trust of those around you.  You lose their respect which affects all of the other relationships you have and those who know you will never see you as quite the same person again.  They may forever be suspicious of you and your motives will always be in question.  There is nothing that can restore a good name because “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold” (Prov 22:1).


The sanctity of marriage is at stake if you commit adultery.  Even flirting at the office or at work is playing with fire.  You put yourself at great risk when you play the charmer or flatter someone of the opposite sex.  It is simply not worth the risk.  Ask yourself these questions:  Do you want to become one in the same with a prostitute or adulterer?  Do you want to risk financial ruin?  Do you want to play with fire and get burned with disease or unwanted pregnancies?  Do you want to make an enemy for life?  It is worth a lifelong ruined reputation?  And is it worth losing your soul over?  Of course it isn’t.  There are more than 5 biblical reasons to not have sex outside of marriage but the number one reason is that God commands us to stay faithful to our mate or to abstain from having sex outside of marriage.  These are not really “Don’t do this” but “Do this and get hurt.”  They are meant for our own good and that is my hope in writing this that if I can prevent even one person from committing adultery, then it would have been worth writing this in ten thousand words.

Jack Wellman is Senior Writer at What Christians Want to Know whose mission is to equip, encourage, and energize Christians and to address questions about the believer’s daily walk with God and the Bible. You can follow Jack on Google Plus or check out his book Blind Chance or Intelligent Design

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  • Fallulah

    Hmmm..well I’ve had sex outside of marriage and I am not attached to anyone, nor am I in financial ruin, no enemies because of it, and my reputation is just fine. Kinda looks like you are just fear-mongering to control other people’s sexuality. Concern yourself with YOUR own sex life and leave people to live theirs.

    • Henry Okeyea

      (Proverbs 16:25) There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
      My friend on the day of judgement you will know the painful truth but it will be to late to repent. Now is the time for you to repent and accept the Lord Jesus and save your soul from the everlasting torment in hell fire. Shalom…

      • Fallulah

        Don’t threat me, you freak.

    • Happiness Noel


    • Jill Jack

      Fallulah, it seems you really have a good time as a cheater. Time will be catching you and you’ll be burned both top and bottom.

    • vinjanderson

      This isn’t fear mongering, this article is not for you who since you’re not concerned, it’s for people like me who are, and just beacuse you dont or haven’t experienced the symptoms and negative results fs sleeping around doesnt mean they aren’t real or someone else hasn’t. It’s not guaranteed you’ll have a bad result it’s just a significantly higher chance of ending in a bad result. So since you feel fine be grateful, since we’re all not so lucky but I’d recommend finding a loving significant other and marry them, love them faithfully and wait to have sex til yor married. Once again just a suggestion, Nobody is Tellig anyone else How to live or instilling fear. If you live by what the bible says this article is almost well put together!

  • Jack Wellman

    A person will reap what they sow but like any farmer will tell you, they reap well after they sow.

  • theot58

    Good article.
    There an absolute explosion of sexually transmitted diseases which are being swept under the carpet. The cost to lives and to the healthcare system is huge.
    Sex inside marriage is beautiful, meaningful and safe.
    Sex outside marriage is like playing Russian roulete
    – it is highly risky
    – it is fearful
    – it is downright dumb.

  • Courtney

    Your explanations are very misleading, sir… Specifically on “Exclusion from Heaven”.

    Just because someone has sex outside of marriage doesn’t mean they automatically get excluded from heaven (premanently), which you seem to be suggesting. If you stumble (ie. commit adultery) as every imperfect human will and does, but ask God for forgiveness of your sin(s), believe in Him and repent, you will be forgiven.

    “When we place our faith in Jesus Christ for salvation, all of our sins are forgiven. That includes past, present, and future, big or small. Believers do not have to keep asking for forgiveness or repenting in order to have their sins forgiven. Jesus died to pay the penalty for all of our sins, and when they are forgiven, they are all forgiven (Colossians 1:14; Acts 10:43).

    “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).”

    You fail to mention this (unless I somehow missed it..if so, point me to where this is mentioned).

    – A Baptist Christian

    • Triceyboo

      Thanks for this because I thought that also

    • Jill Jack

      No man is good except Jesus Christ. Human beings are sinners but if we keep sinning inspite we know now the truth….surely the rewards will be going to hell. Yes, God forgives our sins but once we confess our sins that means we should stop sinning not keep committing adultery or having sex outside of marriage.

    • surge79uwf

      David committed adultery with Bathsheba and after that his children started fighting each other over the succession rights, spilling a lot of blood. David was spared but had to suffer every time a child went down for the count.

    • surge79uwf

      David committed adultery with Bathsheba and after that his children started fighting each other over the succession rights, spilling a lot of blood. David was spared but had to suffer every time a child went down for the count.

  • Triceyboo

    I have slept with several deceiving (most are) married men also I am in love with one at the current moment. His wife left him for several months and she felt him pulling always and she decided to just up and come home. I still talk to him because he can’t go a day without my voices and neither can am I committing adultery if they was separate while we was together

    • Jill Jack

      Yes, I believe you have committed an adultery with the married man based on your statement. If you confess your sins to Jesus Christ, He is faithful to forgive all your sins. That means do not go back to have an affair with married men when there is plenty of single man out there to have for you.

    • john smith

      Strict interpretation of the Bible, you are committing adultery even if these (deceiving) men were in fact single as they claim, outside of marriage.

      If you waited till marriage to have sex, you wouldn’t have the repeated trouble of finding out these men were already married, correct? We are often our worst enemies.

      Its too bad that men are deceiving you, but are you not deceiving YOURSELF? That this guy is going to leave his wife (whose now back- so he must love her and want her on some level) Just curious, do they have kids?

      This sounds to be a pattern. You may really need to do some soul searching in that deep down attracted to married men and enjoy the competition. Are you absolutely sure that you are not doing this purposefully?

  • Peter Perez

    I am trying ever so diligently to rid myself of sexual thought and stimulation but it is something I simply cannot disregard. Of course, these tendencies are outside of marriage completely, because I am not married. I don’t feel as though I am marriage material. Consequently, I am not looking to marry. Although it would be beneficial to be married, I feel that it carries a responsibility so great, it would not be worth the effort, in fact, the effort could not realistically be attempted on my behalf.

    Loneliness is another issue. Scripture tells us that if you cannot control yourself, then you should be married, Jesus said this. I want to do what’s right but I am too weak. I have asked for forgiveness, but I keep on committing the sin both mentally and physically. After just having realized that you cannot right a wrong basically, I pray for the consideration of forgiveness but I realize I am a sinner and this sin is considered a serious one and I don’t know if I will ever be forgiven. What shall I do?

    Many people have admitted that this is a common sin, so common, that there will be many people who fall prey to it. Will God forgive us ever? Trying to hold it back is painful physically and mentally. I am even taking medication for this. Nothing helps although it has slowed down. Is hell truly a place where we will burn? Metaphorically speaking, as does much of scripture, isn’t there a place of rehabilitation for people like us or are we really going to burn in hell for this? It seems like such a waste of humanity. Can someone clarify this?

  • Dorothy Lanasa

    The problem with that is too many people do not get married and have children until they are 36 in the US. The community must support new marriages more to help them get ready for marriage at a more early time.
    I have something else really burdening me and I am wonder if the readership here can talk and offer suggestions to the preachers and the priests here in 21223. There is much corruption, ineffectual use of the law, force and fraud resulting. In more troubling is that certain people in this area, females and males, promote rape as a better alternative to other types of evil things that happen to others. I have never seen such evil enculturation of boasting of ‘rape school’, getting young afro men to rape in numbers others. Diabolically, they do this in order to be able to say that they do not kill believers. They terrorize people to get them to sin with thoughts like, “Your mother will die if you do not sex around.” For 944 days, these predators have had my son who has become like a saint. Instead of prostitution he offers to paint pictures for his “clients”. He is a talented musician, artist, inventor, mathematician; he does not want to be in this circle of sin. But , they will not let him come home. He is suppose to be living in NC but I think they bring him here and use him for months at a time. They string him and I along with the hope of reuniting, and they play hide and seek to see if I can find him. I have lost interest in psychopathic games; they extinguished that routine by having my car stolen and never letting me win his company. I want my son to go where he wants, being 39 years old. But how can I save him from these ones of no conscience or heart. When severe duress and fear of death occurs, is he still going to be considered not a Christian? They sometimes even take him to the grave yard, I suspect. I use to go out and look for him, but in August they stole my car and I have not gotten a job yet because my mother died in 2/12/2016 and I got a knee injury and have not been able to get back to work. Since I do not go along with them, they make my life more difficult; when I speak out against them, they may harm others in the network. I think these groups are like human traffickers and the last time I called the police he scared me with “If I help him you may never see him again.” Ithought at first he meant he would take him to some place to protect him or something. Then, I realized that he meant to a foreign country with little said, yet he extended his hand to shake, but I did not realize that he may be thinking of some more serious unspoken bargain. I tried to contact Officer Perry 3 times and he never called back. I get very angry at times; I am scared for him. Suggestions?

  • psw101

    This is all very well and adultery is never correct but there is the issue of when an affair becomes a marriage if one of the two having the affair gets a divorce, and the two having the affair get married. According to some, an adultress will go to hell.