Church Sign Epic Fails, “Old Testament Sex” Edition (1 of 2)

I’m so full-up on church signs that I’m offering a double dose for Easter. Enjoy this, the first of two installments.

There’s this one position called the “Heber,” where your partner drives a tent stake through your head at the end. Not pretty.

Just after this picture was taken, the bunny peeled off his face to reveal he was actually the antichrist. Kinda makes more sense now, the whole creepy Easter Bunny thing.

If this makes no sense to you, clearly you missed class #43 in the 50 Shades of Old Testament Sex series. Do your homework!

Not a church, I know. So maybe that’s why this one totally reeks of AWESOME SAUCE!

Nothing says “Easter” like base humiliation…and markers to the face. I saw a guy get this done to him back in college, but these weren’t the words on his face.

I took my calculus homework in to these guys and they just stared at me like, “Wha?” Totally not helpful.

I know the right says to take a right at Jesus Way, but Apple maps said to go left. I KNEW I should have stuck with TelNav! I’ll see you in Hell, Steve Jobs!!! No, really, because your navigation system sent me there.

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About Christian Piatt

Christian Piatt is the creator and editor of BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BIBLE and BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT JESUS. He has a memoir on faith, family and parenting called PREGMANCY: A Dad, a Little Dude and a Due Date, and Hachette published his first hardcover book, "postChristian: What's left? Can we fix it? Do we care?" in 2014. His first novel, "Blood Doctrine," has been optioned by a Hollywood production company for a possible TV series.

Christian is the cofounder and cohost of the Homebrewed CultureCast, a podcast about popular culture, current events and spirituality that has a weekly audience of 25,000 people (http://homebrewedchristianity.com/category/culturecast/).

Preorder Christian's next book, "Not That Kind of Christian: Loving God without being an a**hole," at https://squareup.com/market/christianpiatt.

For more information about Christian, visit www.christianpiatt.com, or find him on Twitter (www.twitter.com/christianpiatt) or Facebook.

  • http://stealingcommas.blogspot.com/ chris the cynic

    If the Gospel According to Bugs Bunny teaches us nothing else it is that the important thing isn’t which way you turn at Jesus way but instead making sure you turn left at Albuquerque. I note that the Gospel According to The Doctor also backs up the importance of turning left.


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