Church Sign Epic Fails, “He Touched Me” Edition

We’ve all said those things that we wish we could take back right after we said them. Now, imagine that thing being posted on a church sign, photographed and shared on the internet…yeah.

Never, EVER diddle the church sign guy. This is what you get.

Yaknow, the old excuse of just hanging out with a bad crowd never worked for me in high school. Had I only known Jesus used it too…

I simply can’t bring myself to write any of the myriad jokes I cam up for on this one.

I thought it was “rhubarb?”

And there can’t nobody gonna diagram that sentence, no how.

HEY! That Jordan river water is super cold. Gimme a break!

Now that’s a new approach.

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About Christian Piatt

Christian Piatt is the creator and editor of BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BIBLE and BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT JESUS. He has a memoir on faith, family and parenting called PREGMANCY: A Dad, a Little Dude and a Due Date, and Hachette published his first hardcover book, "postChristian: What's left? Can we fix it? Do we care?" in 2014. His first novel, "Blood Doctrine," has been optioned by a Hollywood production company for a possible TV series.

Christian is the cofounder and cohost of the Homebrewed CultureCast, a podcast about popular culture, current events and spirituality that has a weekly audience of 25,000 people (

Preorder Christian's next book, "Not That Kind of Christian: Loving God without being an a**hole," at

For more information about Christian, visit, or find him on Twitter ( or Facebook.

  • David_Evans

    “And there can’t nobody gonna diagram that sentence, no how.”

    Perfect. I just laughed uncontrollably.