Church Sign Epic Fails, “Scumbags Welcome” Edition

I was once told I was an abomination, but I totally misunderstood. I thought that was one of those transformers, like Bumblebee. Abomination could totally put the smackdown on Bumblebee. Who the heck is tough that’s named Bumblebee???

Pastor Terry Jones presiding. Quran burning to commence immediately after worship.

Bring the kids! We’ll scare the ever-loving shit out of them for you.

Except for literacy.

Ahh misogynist patriarchy is just one of those things that never gets old. Five thousand years later, and it still puts a smile on my face!

Except for the academy. They can always thank the academy.

Yeah, except for the whole thing about giving women multiple orgasms and giving us a thirty-minute refractory period. Very funny, God.

Neither are we ashamed of our signage…though we have every reason to be.

About Christian Piatt

Christian Piatt is the creator and editor of BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BIBLE and BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT JESUS. He has a memoir on faith, family and parenting called PREGMANCY: A Dad, a Little Dude and a Due Date, and Hachette published his first hardcover book, "postChristian: What's left? Can we fix it? Do we care?" in 2014. His first novel, "Blood Doctrine," has been optioned by a Hollywood production company for a possible TV series.

Christian is the cofounder and cohost of the Homebrewed CultureCast, a podcast about popular culture, current events and spirituality that has a weekly audience of 25,000 people (

Preorder Christian's next book, "Not That Kind of Christian: Loving God without being an a**hole," at

For more information about Christian, visit, or find him on Twitter ( or Facebook.

  • Michael Mock

    …”Not ashamed of the Cospel of Christ”? That sounds like something perched halfway between Gospel and cosplay. I mean, you can really tell who put the time and effort into their outfits: that Judas over there looks just like he does in the anime, complete with the black and purple robes and the curve of the horns, while that other Judas sitting in back? It’s obvious that his horns are just rough-cut cardboard. What was he thinking?

  • Boidster

    “thirty-minute refractory period”

    You are either:

    a) An absolute master of camouflaged boasts
    b) the most accomplished 15-year-old blogger I’ve ever read
    c) Sting

    And in any case,

    a) I see what you did
    b) Enjoy it while it lasts, kid
    c) Love your music