March 4, 2003

PITHY REVIEWS

A friend asked me the other day what I thought of Gangs of New York. “I reviewed it on my blog,” said I. To which my friend replied, “Too many words. Just tell me whether I should see it or not.” So, in an effort to reach and edify this visually oriented culture where it is, here are my reviews of the films of 2002.

Chicago – “A Razzle dazzle.”

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers – “Needs shampoo.”

Unfaithful – “Tramp.”

Gangs of New York – “Gutsy.”

Minority Report – “Overlooked.”

Bowling for Columbine – “Somebody, lock and lode.”

Road to Perdition – “The Flawed Anti-Hero”

Ice Age – “Hello, Casting?”

Signs – “I see self-indulgent directors.”

Y Tu Mama Tambien – “Que?”

My Big Fat Greek Wedding – “Almost”

Catch Me if You Can – “But, why?”

The Hours – “Suicide is not always painless.”

8 Mile – “Would be better without the rap.”

The Pianist – “And?”

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind – “GONG!”

Far From Heaven – “People just watch it for the pictures.”

Spider Man – “Cool and celibate.”

Treasure Planet – “One more flying wooden pirateships in space movie.”

We Were Soldiers – “Oh………”

Frida – “Artists.”

Adaptation – “Nobody cares.”

About Schmidt – “Oh, grow up.”


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