Another priest’s thoughts on blessing kids in the communion line

“Every now and then, some hand-wringing liberal sob sister will try to argue that Jesus loved kids. I always tell ‘em the same thing: ‘Screw you, buddy, and the hybrid car you rode in on. Did Jesus pick any kids to be His Apostles? I don’t think so. When He raised that kid from the dead, did He mollycoddle her with a lot of baby talk? Hell, no; He told her, ‘GET UP!’, plain and ugly. I’m sure his next words were, ‘Make yourself useful — set the damn table…’ If the Son of Man was Mr. Rogers, then how come you never see him in a cardigan sweater?”

– An anonymous priest (and, I’m sure, future saint), quoted here.

Msgr. W.C. Fields, perhaps?

UPDATE:  If those who are stomping their feet in righteous indignation would stop for a moment, you might realize that Max has a firm grip on your leg, and is pulling it.   (Perhaps the good M. Lindenman is just too Swift for modern day readers…sigh…)


  1. Oh my. Please tell me that Wimpy Catholic was using sarcasm to point out that the issue of blessing children is not worth getting ones knickers in a twist (as the Irish say). It is rather chilling to think that “Msgr. W.C. Fields” could exist. Whatever happened to “in all things charity”.

    Deacon Greg may you and your family have a Easter Season filled with Alleluia’s.

  2. Irish Spectre says:

    Clearly this priest is one of those Anglicans who’ve been lately received into the Church; I wonder how many kids he has.

  3. Ha ha! That’s awesome!

  4. REALLY??? Could we for just a moment explore the idea that the child that may get this blessing might a a calling from above??? Just something to ponder…dreh

  5. How insulting the whole thing is!

  6. Some of the best satire I have seen online in a long time.

  7. Bill Russell says:

    The serious question about “blessing” others while administering Holy Communion is this: the presence of Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament Exposed is itself a blessing. This is why the Church does not permit any other blessing at Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament. For instance, there is no sign of blessing given over the incense at Benediction. This would indicate that at Communion, while some gesture of benevolence may be given, such as the priest raising his hand or gently placing his hand on the head of the person not receiving Communion. no words of blessing and no sign of the cross should be given.

  8. Regina J. Faighes says:

    Yes, Richard. I was thinking the same thing. It is along the lines of Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People From Being a Burden on Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Publick.” People who did not understand the satirical nature of that piece were horrified by it.

  9. The priest’s self-description gave away the satire. Max might want to take a lesson or two from Swift and give us time to let our guard down before he strikes. :)

  10. Nicholas:
    Having read a few of Max Lindenman’s posts, I thought that the “anonymous priest” was in fact the author, but I did not want to accuse him of the high crime and misdemeanor of priest impersonation. (Hmm… Is there a canon law that covers that?)

  11. Even as satire, this is appalling! A little might have been OK but not so much, if that’s the way he truly feels! It’s smacks of the Maxine cartoons…which I hate because they are so full of anger and hate and only very rarely are they actually funny without tearing somebody down. So much venom here! The reference to “dot-heads” in the full piece is a slur on Indians, Pakistanis and Bengalis of all religions who are prejudicially lumped together. Too bad the piece wasn’t more toward the uplifting bent. This reinforces an image of “bad” clergy…for those who want to think ill of such. Ouch! And during the Octave of Easter even! Ouch again!

  12. You mean to say that simply being in the presence of the Lord is not a blessing in itself? You must hate little children with the white-hot rage of a billion demons.

  13. Relax, everyone – best laugh I’ve had in awhile!

  14. This is hysterical – especially reading the reactions of people who didn’t get it.

  15. midwestlady says:

    I get it. Maybe many of you don’t. Women often take their kids up so they don’t have to leave them alone in the pew, what with the number of men who don’t show up for mass these days.

  16. midwestlady says:

    Not really. This is exploiting the ridiculous to make a point, and it’s quite a bit too transparent. Can you say “straw man?” I can.

  17. You mean they let kids in the building at your parish? At ours they have a little room in the back where they have to stay until the adults get done. They do have some toys in there, though. And they get some donuts as well. That way no blessing issues, crying, fidgeting, etc.


  18. California Yankee says:

    That was a riot! Thanks for the laugh.

  19. Catholic Dad says:

    Can you say lighten up? I can.

  20. Catholic Dad says:

    It takes two to tango. Too bad they settled for such weak personalities. Perhaps they should have expected and demanded more. We’re out there, you know. One need only be a tad more selective.

  21. Wow! One doesn’t really know the person they marry until they marry them. Even then, it takes a lifetime to know someone. Some qualities don’t even appear until a tragedy or health issue surfaces, likewise some deficits don’t appear until then either. And many folks make mistakes, based on their upbringing and their personal circumstances.

    Catholic Dad, what you’re saying is something one should try to inculcate into one’s children…not judge others by (goes the same for midwestlady above). With all the children being abducted today from any number of places, it’s simply not wise to leave a child alone to fend for themselves while everyone else around them also goes up for communion.

  22. Catholic Dad says:

    I don’t leave my child in the pew either, but not because of the lack of quality women in our parish.

  23. justamouse says:

    Jem, your parish is apparently liberal, in mine they hang them up under the eaves on pegs by their diapers.;-)

    Poor Max. I got it.

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