“Every now and then, some hand-wringing liberal sob sister will try to argue that Jesus loved kids. I always tell ‘em the same thing: ‘Screw you, buddy, and the hybrid car you rode in on. Did Jesus pick any kids to be His Apostles? I don’t think so. When He raised that kid from the dead, did He mollycoddle her with a lot of baby talk? Hell, no; He told her, ‘GET UP!’, plain and ugly. I’m sure his next words were, ‘Make yourself useful — set the damn table…’ If the Son of Man was Mr. Rogers, then how come you never see him in a cardigan sweater?”
— An anonymous priest (and, I’m sure, future saint), quoted here.
Msgr. W.C. Fields, perhaps?
UPDATE: If those who are stomping their feet in righteous indignation would stop for a moment, you might realize that Max has a firm grip on your leg, and is pulling it. (Perhaps the good M. Lindenman is just too Swift for modern day readers…sigh…)