Seriously? I thought this must be a headline from The Onion.

But no.  This headline is real:

Georgetown Chooses Sebelius for Commencement

Details, from the university:

This afternoon, Georgetown announced the speakers for each school’s commencement address. Here is the list:

David Simon, creator of the critically acclaimed television dramas “The Wire” and “Treme” will be speaking to the College.

Dr. Mark Green, senior director of the U.S. Global Leadership Coalition and former ambassador to Tanzania is the speaker for the School of Nursing & Health.

Ela R. Bhatt, founder of the Self-Employed Women’s Association, the largest union in India, and a consultant for UNICEF, will address the School of Foreign Service.

Tim O’Shaughnessy (B ’04), CEO and co-founder of LivingSocial will be speaking to the McDonough School of Business.

The speaker for the senior convocation is Helen O’Really (F ’03), current judicial clerk on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit.

List of speakers for other Georgetown schools:

  • Dr. Helen Neville, director of the Brain Development Laboratory and the Center for Cognitive Neuroscience will be addressing the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences.
  • Barry Salzberg, global chief executive officer of Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu Limited will be speaking to the MBA program.
  • Scott Case, founding chief technology officer of Priceline along with inventor of dozens of U.S. patents, is the speaker for the School of Continuing Studies.
  • Dr. Michael Zasloff, nationally recognized cardiologist who studies immunity at the Surgical Immunology Transplant Institute at the Georgetown Medical Center and Dr. Ross Fletcher, chief of staff at the Washington DC VA Medical Center will address the Medical School.
  • The Georgetown Law speaker is Arthur J. Gajarsa (L ’67), judge at the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit.
  • James J. O’Donnell, Georgetown’s provost will speak at the closing ceremonies at the School of Foreign Service in Qatar.
  • Louis J. Freeh, director of the FBI from 1993-2001will be speaking at the ROTC commissioning ceremony.
  • Former governor of Kansas and current secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services, Kathleen Sebelius, will be addressing the Georgetown Public Policy Institute.
  • Sri Mulyani Indrawat, an Indonesian economist, and Alexander Graff Lambsdorff (G ‘93), a German politician and member of the European Parliament will address the Masters of the School of Foreign Service.

FWIW footnote: I went to college with David Simon.  When I knew him, 35 years ago, he was a 98-pound chain-smoking bearded long-haired beer-swilling creative genius who wrote kick-ass rock-and-roll concert reviews for the University of Maryland student newspaper, The Diamondback.  I was the features editor, struggling not to flunk out of journalism school because I spent all my time at the newspaper office instead of the classroom.  David went on to work for the Baltimore Sun and create classic TV shows like “Homicide” and “The Wire.”  I went to work for CBS News and the pope.

Life is funny.

Anyway…back to the matter at hand…it would nice if Georgetown were kidding.

But something tells me they’re not.

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