The Deacon's Bench
The nativity scene is up and ready at my parish. But what about everyone who works at the parish? Speaking for myself, I could use another week.
Which is why I appreciated these wry but insightful thoughts from a married member of clergy who is used to burning the Advent candle at both ends.
I know a few deacons who will appreciate this—and, yes, some priests, too. This comes from my Patheos neighbor Erin Wathen, who is the senior pastor at St. Andrew Christian Church in Kansas City.
Take it away, Erin:
For clergy with small children, it’s kind of a sick joke: your longest work day of the year falls on the night before your children’s earliest morning. You can see it unfolding, but you’re powerless to stop it. You’ll get home around 12:30 or 1am, too jacked up on caffeine and adrenaline to sleep. So you’ll wind down by eating the cookies the kids left for Santa (because, hey, keep the magic alive!) and watching part of the 24-hour A Christmas Story marathon. You might get drowsy by 2… But hey, guess what, your kids will be up around 5 because SANTA CAME, and presents must be opened and pancakes must be made.
Here’s hoping that Santa brought you IV bags for Christmas, because mainlining coffee is about the only way you are making it through this business.
Her tips include:
Release Expectations that your family will show up to services looking like the cover of the Eddie Bauer catalogue. Holiday edition. One year I was rushing around the house before I left, trying to lay out everybody’s outfits for the evening, and I thought… I BET NO MAN PREACHER IN THE HISTORY OF EVER HAS SPENT HIS CHRISTMAS EVE AFTERNOON LOOKING FOR SNOW FLAKE TIGHTS. So anyway… It’s not just about tights, and it’s not just the women. We all have some expectations when it comes to the aesthetics of this day. Lower them and move on. If your family shows up for church looking and acting like the Herdmans or the Griswolds, so be it. I mean, Jesus was born in a BARN. Let’s make him feel right at home.
Don’t over-think the message. Reality check: nobody comes to Christmas Eve service for the sermon. It is about the candles, the greens, the friends and family, the MUSIC, and the familiar scriptures. I’m not saying that the pastor should not have meaningful words to share… But those meaningful words need not be quite so many as they are on Sunday morning. A 30-minute homily is just torture (for them and you)! This is one of those days that kind of preaches itself. So yes, prepare a lovely meditation or prayer or communion invitation… But put your real energy into being present, greeting visitors, and fully participating in the joy of the gathered community.
That’s for starters. Read it all.
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