health not

health nut I am not.

I’ve yet to make New Year’s resolutions which usually include some sort of hope-against-hope dream that I’ll suddenly get my life together & start eating healthy & run with glee to the nearest gym 5x’s a week.

Other years, it’s worked.  I’m a mostly active person.  For crying out loud I ran a marathon.  I participated in a grueling 12 week body building competition (which might I add, I lost & it took the wind right out of my sails).  I was the Tae Boe queen for some time.  I worked out 6 days a week for my entire pregnancy!  But now, I’m just sick sick sick sick sick of it all.  My friend Jess says I need a new gimmick.  Apparently, I’m the trend following athlete. 🙂

This year when someone fed me that cheesy line, “what does your heart tell you?”

Honestly, my heart is usually pretty evil so this is what it is telling me this year:

-eat a rather large bowl of fruity pebbles cereal for breakfast every morning without fail

-if possible eat it again for lunch

-eat something really sweet after lunch & dinner

-never ever work-out

-& if at all possible don’t break a sweat doing housework either

I’m am sooooo unmotivated right now.  Is this is what it looks like to “let myself go?”  I wonder.  I just turned 32.  Am I officially throwing in the towel?  

I wonder if I found myself to be fat & unattractive if I would get it together?  Is my cuteness working against me?  

Or maybe if I had heartburn that I really thought was a heart attack if that would get me motivated to pull myself together?

I try to remember that I want to live a long life with my hubby, my kids & hopefully even my grandkids, but that is not even working for me this year. 🙁  

(all that said… I have worked out 4 days in a row now… but I still hate it!)