“Defiled”

very, very powerful post over at Mudblood Catholic:

Though I’ve mentioned it briefly before, this was a really hard post to write. Warning: it contains language and subject matter that may be triggering for people who’ve experienced traumas.┬áTo make myself feel better, and probably alienate my readers in the process, I will be interspersing inappropriately amusing photographs. …

When I was an adolescent, I was raped four times.

Talking about it doesn’t make you feel better, but not talking about it is like living in hell.

The thing about rape is that it shatters your psyche. It isn’t just a physical violation, it’s a violation of every level of your personhood at once. Emotional, sexual, relational, spiritual.

The first time, I was a thirteen year old boy. He was eighteen or nineteen, I think. It was on a church trip. Nobody knew, for years.

The church didn’t do much when they found out, years later, three more rapes later; asked him to leave the congregation. I don’t think they did anything else.

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