Don’t Fear The “Homosexual Agenda”, It’s The Ammosexual Agenda That’s Concerning.

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I grew up being warned about the “homosexual agenda”, and for many years I believed the hype. It was almost as if LGBTQ individuals were part of the illuminati and secretly controlling world leaders with the goal of establishing a one-world government— one that would force every person on earth to daily pledge allegiance to the rainbow flag or something.

It took me well into adulthood to realize that this was all nonsense. When I finally learned about the gay agenda for myself, it turned out to be simple and harmless: get treated like everyone else in society, and maybe buy a wedding cake.

And that’s pretty much it. Nothing outlandish, nothing to fear. However, I did discover a separate group of individuals who actually do have an agenda worthy of concern: the Ammosexuals.

While we don’t have official statistics, it is highly likely that you have at least one friend, relative, or co-worker who is an Ammosexual. In the rare case you don’t personally know one, youScreenshot 2015-08-28 08.42.20 have undoubtedly encountered a great many of them in the comment section on any news story or article relating to guns and gun violence. The comment section is where they all meet up to hang out and chat– sort of their e-version of a gay bar.

If you’ve interacted with them much, you’re likely already familiar with their dangerous agenda: the Ammosexual agenda is to ensure people can own any type of weapon they want, take their weapons wherever they want, and to oppose any regulations or gun restrictions designed to reduce violence. It is an agenda that wants nothing less than unrestricted gun rights, consequences be dammed. 

What makes the Ammosexual agenda so dangerous, and quite honestly evil, is that they literally do not care how many people die (including school children) as a result of the proliferation of weapons in America. If having to choose between dead children and unrestricted gun rights, they actually choose the latter. And no, that’s not an exaggeration; so far in 2015 we’ve had more than one mass shooting per every day of the year and the Ammosexual agenda has’t budged in the slightest.

What perhaps is even more dangerous than the goal of the Ammosexual agenda itself are the means by which they pursue their agenda. Here are the tactics they use to accomplish the goal:

Rid all discussions on gun violence of basic facts.

The only way the movement can succeed is if Ammosexuals completely rid all facts from public discourse. They don’t want you to know how statistically dangerous it is to have a firearm in the home, don’t want you to know how successful gun control has been at curbing gun violence, and they’ll certainly want to distract you from the fact we’re basically the only place in the world where mass shootings happen every single day. Facts are the enemy of their agenda.

Distract people from the real agenda with false equivalency arguments.

Part of the Ammosexual agenda is to make guns look totally harmless– they literally want to deceive you. To accomplish this they’ll commit the fallacy of false equivalency and say things like “guns don’t kill people any more than forks make you fat” so all their friends can “like” the comment in an online round of high-fives. But here’s the fact they refuse to acknowledge: guns are different than forks, cars and hammers because when you use a gun properly and for the intended purpose, a gun always kills.

Immediately accuse gun control advocates of being liberals who just want to confiscate every gun in America.

One of the first moves in any discussion with an Ammosexual will be a claim that liberals are always trying to take all their guns away. They’ll skip discussions about universal background checks, waiting periods, trigger locks and a host of other options, and will instead paint you as some liberal who literally wants to go door to door forcibly taking away guns. Funny thing is, liberals have had plenty of seasons of political power, yet they’ve never done this. The discussion isn’t about abolition- it’s about regulation.

Convince the masses that unrestricted rights for Ammosexuals were somehow “God-given.”

If something is bestowed by God and not government, it makes it sound much more noble and difficult to change. The Ammosexuals have done this with unrestricted gun rights and have created a new religion falsely named after Christianity– one where Jesus affirms his followers shooting up their enemies, instead of the Jesus of the Bible who commanded his followers to nonviolently love their enemies and reject violence.

And, perhaps the most concerning tactic of the Ammosexual agenda:

The Ammosexual agenda continually promises they will ultimately use violence to get their own way.

I don’t ever remember an LGBTQ friend promise to start shooting up the country and overthrow the government if they didn’t get marriage equality, but the Ammosexuals continually promise they will do exactly that if anyone tries to interfere with their “rights.” Sometimes they’ll be obvious about it, quoting phrases about the rights of the people to abolish the government, and sometimes they’ll clothe their threats of violence in capitalized phrases such as, “NO ONE WILL EVER TAKE MY GUNS!” and “just TRY it and see what happens buddy!”

Either way, let us be clear: Ammosexuals are willing to kill a lot of people if it comes down to it.

The so-called “homosexual agenda”? There’s really no agenda at all– other than being treated equally.

Ammosexuals, on the other hand… well, their agenda is actually getting a lot of us killed.

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