Trans-Atlantic Disney Cruise, Day 13: It’s Not Over Until Someone Passes Out

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Excursions on the Disney cruises work this way: Disney tries its best to find local contractors to work with at our ports of call to show the passengers a great time in the host city. Normally, it works out well. Sometimes, not-so-well.

Last year, we had an amazing “crossing” from Florida to Barcelona. On the way, we stopped in Malaga, Spain – the birthplace of Picasso. (I think he may have left for a reason.) We took a bus tour that supposedly included a “castle,” but we never saw most of what was on the itinerary. The bus tour stopped with nary a sight of a castle, and the passengers were restless. Pretty soon, an insurrection began after we were dropped off unceremoniously in the middle of the city after an hour or so of driving around the city in a big bus. (Disney apologized and returned 1/3 of our money.)

Today, we were in Oslo and had signed up for a fjord excursion – the excursions are classified according to whether they are appropriate for various ages and/or people with disability. Because of Naomi, we do some of the least vigorous excursions. This one was for all ages and all ability levels.

We got off the ship, got on a bus, and drove to the small vessel that would take us around the fjords. It was drizzling and 50 degrees. One family took a look at the boat, turned around, and left. The rest of us unsuspecting folks climbed right on board. There were 4 people in wheelchairs, who struggled to even get on the ramp to get on the boat. Once on, they ended up sitting near the edge of the crowded boat. Light rain came drizzled on them. Occasionally, the boat would shift and like a gallon of water would fall off the canvas “roof” onto their heads. It happened to Austin and me once, but we had the mobility to move downstairs. These poor people were stuck under a virtual shower on a boat with terrible winds on a freezing day. The trip lasted 2 and a half hours. The kids and I finally gave up and played gin rummy in the bottom of the boat. We were soaked, cold, miserable, and felt so bad for the people in wheelchairs getting doused that we could no longer sit on the top of the boat and pretend to be having a good time.

We were so wet and miserable – soaked shoes, jackets, and shirts – that we gave up on Oslo and didn’t try to do anything else in our remaining couple of hours. I can’t imagine how the people in the wheelchairs felt. I totally understand that the boat owners can’t control the weather – we are in Norway. It rains. But it was obviously mis-classified…

David, who is sitting next to me, wants me to tell you that he loved the excursion. Apparently, his enthusiasm for the sea is not dampened by the misery of others.

The Baltic Sea is currently nuts. After dinner, there was a 50 mile per hour wind on one side of the ship that caused some crazy lilts. Since then, the water has begun swelling more than I’ve ever experienced on a cruise ship. They’ve cleared the top deck, shut down all the food, tied down everything that can’t be removed, and people are walking around on the lower decks like they’re drunk – going from one side of the hall to the other without being able to stop running into their fellow passengers. We’re in our state room – the kids and David are having a contest to see how long they can say certain words without taking a breath. (Like, inexplicably, “Dwayne the Rock Johnson.”) The closet doors are coming open and shut with the drastic waves. David is so happy. Not only for the great waves but because he is in the lead with 1 minute and 40 seconds in the “Dwayne the Rock Johnson” contest. He is trying to beat his record. The kids are trying to convince him not to try again because they worry their Harvard Law educated dad will lose his mental edge. He says, “It’s not over until someone passes out.”

Our day, in a nutshell.

Tomorrow, Copenhagen…. our final destination!

Read more in this series:

Day One, Trans-Atlantic Disney Cruise: Anchors Away

Day Two, Trans-Atlantic Disney Cruise: Medical Evacuation

Day Three, Trans-Atlantic Disney Cruise: College Admissions Conversation?

Day Four, Trans-Atlantic Disney Cruise: The Gut Punch of New York

Day Five, Trans-Atlantic Disney Cruise: Day at Sea

Day Six, Trans-Atlantic Disney Cruise: Nova Scotia

Day Seven, Trans-Atlantic Disney Cruise: I Didn’t Know Cinderella Was Real

Day Eight, Trans-Atlantic Disney Cruise: The Worst Thing About This Cruise

Day Nine, Trans-Atlantic Disney Cruise: Three Racial Moments with Naomi