Guilt And Shame

There is guilt, the inner torment that comes from doing what is wrong. And there is shame, the torment that comes from other people knowing that we have done something wrong. Guilt is private; shame is social. Guilt has to do with how we see ourselves; shame has to do with how others see us.

We might do something we know is wrong, but feel only mildly guilty about it. But if other people found out, our shame–consisting of embarrassment and a ruined reputation–would be devastating.

Lifeway did a study of what feeling people want to avoid the most: guilt, shame, or fear. 38% of Americans said shame. The breakdown according to age, education, and religion–given after the jump–is interesting. (“Nones,” for example, those with no religion, are especially plagued with guilt. Religious people are more worried about shame.)

The problem of shame in our culture today shouldn’t surprise us. Moral relativism might assuage guilt, but it doesn’t help us with shame. On social media, shaming other people has become a national past time, leading some targets to misery and sometimes suicide. Social norms, especially of the politically correct variety, are enforced by shaming the violators.

The fear of shame might be considered shallow. “You worry about your reputation more than the wrongness of your behavior.”

But the Bible says a lot about shame. It seems to be an aspect of God’s judgment–that our sins will be disclosed, so that we will be “put to shame.” Yet Jesus endured shame on our behalf. The Cross, reserved for the lowest offenders, involving being nailed naked to a tree and lifted up for all the world to see, was considered an especially shameful way to die. And yet, “Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame” (Hebrews 12:2).

As a result, the Cross of Jesus Christ gives us forgiveness for both our guilt and our shame: “Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offense; and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame” (Romans 9:33).

From Bob Smietana, Shame, Guilt, and Fear: What 1,000 Americans Avoid Most, Christianity Today:

LifeWay Research wanted to know if guilt is still a major issue for Americans. That might affect how Christians talk about their faith, said McConnell, since Christianity also addresses needs such as shame and fear.

“We wanted to know: Are churches addressing the issues Americans care about most?”

Researchers asked 1,000 Americans three questions to discover their feelings about fear, shame, guilt, and other issues.

Which of these feelings do you seek to avoid the most?

Which of these desires is strongest in your life?

Which of these directions do you value the most?

Overall, 38 percent of Americans say they avoid shame the most, while 31 percent say guilt and 30 percent say fear.

Education and age play a role in which feelings Americans avoid. Those with graduate degrees (44%) are more likely to avoid shame than those with high school diplomas or less (34%). Americans ages 25 to 34 avoid guilt (37%) more than those 55 and older (27%). Middle-aged Americans—those 35 to 54— are the most likely age group to worry about shame (44%).

Nones—those who claim no religious identity—avoid guilt (35%) more than those who are religious (30%). Those who are religious avoid shame (39%) more than nones (33%). Those from non-Christian faiths are most likely to avoid shame (48%).

When it comes to what Americans with evangelical beliefs avoid most, 34 percent say guilt, 34 percent say fear, and 32 percent say shame. For Americans worshiping at least once a month, 37 percent say shame, 32 percent say fear, and 31 percent say guilt. (The findings were not significantly different from non-evangelicals or non-worshipers.)