Archives for May 2010

Chronicles of the School Seeker I

I recently embarked on a grand journey of epic proportions, mind you, and it may finally be coming to an end. I made the preparations, consulted experienced travelers, and kept logs of my travels. What is it, you ask, am I referring to? To find the perfect schooling for my first born son. (Go ahead, laugh!)I first thought of beginning this journey when my son turned four years old. “So will he begin school this year?,” many people asked me. “School?” I thought, “So early? He’ll have the res … [Read more...]

The Flame

The flame, lost in its direction cannot find its balance. It seems to be fighting desperately to just stay alive - how ironic?For it to stay alive, the wick allows itself to burn and the wax permits its own melting.The soul - in order for it to stay alive with imaan, also struggles. It is in constant motion to find steadiness, just like the flame.I know that my body and ego must burn in order to feed the soul; not just for the soul to stay lit, but also to bring light to others.This … [Read more...]

Trusting 100%

It’s easy to say that you trust Allah has a reason for everything, but it is not as easy to truly put your mind and heart at ease and accept plans that are already written for you.Early last year, my husband and I started looking to purchase a home. Each time we would see a home that fit our criteria, we would pray estekhara but would also do everything in our power to try to make it work out. Our hopes were put down twice. Both times, subhanallah, another contract would get put through on t … [Read more...]

The Great Gelatin Divide

“Do they have gelatin in their treats?”My son is four years old and full of wonder. The world must seem massive and wild through his eyes. There are so many trucks, trains, plants, animals, and, religions, to categorize. He comes from engineers on both sides, so this compulsion to organize and label, is not surprising to me. What is surprising is this need of his to flesh out the difference between Muslims and non-Muslims, before he can even read.Like any kid, he is attracted to sugar, an … [Read more...]

What’s in the Soup?

During the last several months, I discovered the importance of “my time” during my work day. I have an hour lunch break and while some people would choose to socialize during this time, I have begun going out by myself for fresh air, coffee, and sometimes shopping. It has become a precious gift of solo time that I savor. If I need to run some errands then that’s what I do, but if I get an opportunity to reflect during this time, it’s even better.One day recently during one of these breaks I w … [Read more...]

I Pray, He Plays

So, my 3-year old Mohammed's latest favorite activity is climbing. Not trees or hills, but me! Yes, me...and when I'm praying! It's almost become automatic and habitual for him, now. His eyes see me praying and his brain says, "Must drop whatever cool toy that's in my hand now and go climb all over her!"Now, I wear one of those long one-piece prayer gowns while I pray and when he starts climbing all over me, he starts to pull it back. Now, THAT'S annoying.Sujood is his all-time … [Read more...]

Umm Hamza

Umm Hamza has been my friend for several years. We see each other once a week, every Thursday morning.Umm Hamza is divorced with three young sons. She works hard to make ends meet. She lives with her parents and sons, and, among other living expenses, she pays for her boys’ education, her mother’s and father’s medicines, and her grandmother’s, too, when the grandmother is staying with them here. These take up a great deal of her income.Umm Hamza’s sons go to a private Qur’an memorization … [Read more...]

The Stubborn Why

We’ve all done it, whether intentionally and out loud or in our minds and hearts. We’ve questioned a happening. Why? Why me? Why now?I was 25 weeks into my first pregnancy when things took a turn for the worst. Or so I thought, at the time. Baby’s movements came to a sudden halt. That’s when what I like to call “the stubborn why” began. I was calling the doctors frantically, demanding an answer. I was seen every day that week, but no one was able to satisfy my desperate need for answers. “Bab … [Read more...]