For two weeks after having Khadijah, I had the baby blues. It wasn’t full-on post-partum depression, but every evening, when the sun set, I would start to cry. It would last a few minutes, my husband would comfort me, and that was it. And after two weeks, it went away.
Part of it was hormonal, I know. But I also had a tough time adjusting to having a baby. Much of it was what most moms go through – uncertainty if you’re doing things right, and then worry about the uncertainty, and then worry about the worry and that you’re not only amazingly happy as every new mother should be, etc. But I think I also had a hard time because of my personality.
I am an only child. For the most part, I lived my life on my own schedule. Obviously that changed somewhat after marriage, but then I was dealing with an adult who could compromise and adjust, as could I. With a newborn, on the other hand, there is no compromise and no reasoning. When she cried, I had to drop what I was doing and go to her. There was also no set schedule… can you imagine?!:) For someone who thrives on schedules and planning (and relishes in planning travel itineraries) not having a schedule was traumatizing – almost debilitating.
But, boy, have I come a long way. I’ve learned to be more flexible, laid back, and accommodating. Just one of the many, many lessons, no – crash courses – motherhood continues to give me.
Bhawana Kamil lives in Santa Clara, CA with her husband and daughter. She is pursuing a Masters degree in Philosophy and is the head of her local MAS Outreach Department – but only on the side. Her real job is watching (and hopefully helping) her little girl grow up!