Baby Blues

For two weeks after having Khadijah, I had the baby blues. It wasn’t full-on post-partum depression, but every evening, when the sun set, I would start to cry. It would last a few minutes, my husband would comfort me, and that was it. And after two weeks, it went away.

Part of it was hormonal, I know. But I also had a tough time adjusting to having a baby. Much of it was what most moms go through – uncertainty if you’re doing things right, and then worry about the uncertainty, and then worry about the worry and that you’re not only amazingly happy as every new mother should be, etc. But I think I also had a hard time because of my personality.

I am an only child. For the most part, I lived my life on my own schedule. Obviously that changed somewhat after marriage, but then I was dealing with an adult who could compromise and adjust, as could I. With a newborn, on the other hand, there is no compromise and no reasoning. When she cried, I had to drop what I was doing and go to her. There was also no set schedule… can you imagine?!:) For someone who thrives on schedules and planning (and relishes in planning travel itineraries) not having a schedule was traumatizing – almost debilitating.

But, boy, have I come a long way. I’ve learned to be more flexible, laid back, and accommodating. Just one of the many, many lessons, no – crash courses – motherhood continues to give me.

Bhawana Kamil

Bhawana Kamil lives in Santa Clara, CA with her husband and daughter. She is pursuing a Masters degree in Philosophy and is the head of her local MAS Outreach Department – but only on the side. Her real job is watching (and hopefully helping) her little girl grow up!

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  • Asiya

    Mashaa Allaah sister, this is exactly what I went thru after the birth of my firstborn, almost 9 years ago! It was so bad with me, that even after I got over the baby blues, I would get chills just remembering how emotionally and mentally overwhelmed I used to feel during that time! Alhamdu lillaah, as you said though, it’s a learning process and it goes on forever. I have 4 children now mashaa Allaah, and I find myself changing up schedules, routines, rules, etc. all the time! Gotta love motherhood though, it is one of Allaah’s hugest of favors upon us.

  • Aishah

    subhanAllah.. I can only imagine being an only child and how tough it must have been to adjust. I come from a big family mashaAllah and still struggled with getting used to my little son ruling my life :)

  • NurHabiba

    SubhanAllah. The immediate postpartum period is so trying. I have to shake my head as I think of what I went through anxiety, pain of an episiotomy that wouldn’t heal, yo yoing blood pressure, swelling, exhaustion. Boy, I learned quickly even before giving birth why Paradise lies under the feet of the mother. Allahu Akbar, without His mercy I would not have made it through in one piece. Now my daughter is 7 months and I am far better adjusted; but always still learning. Alhamdulillah one is only a first time mom once :)