My Struggle With Infertility III

Part III

Well, ALHAMDULLILLAH, I didn’t have to do a second round, because I became pregnant. Alhamdullillah.

I was now having ultrasounds done almost weekly and I will never forget when I saw the heartbeat on the screen. My doctor said to me, “It looks like we got it right this time!” With every week that passed and no miscarriage, my doctor was feeling more and more assured that this pregnancy was healthy. After my first trimester passed, she transferred my care over to an obstetrician who specializes in high-risk pregnancies and wished me luck. I lovingly told her I hoped to never see her again!

Alhamdullillah, one week over my due date, I gave birth to our precious daughter. When picking out a name, we went through all the names from A-Z and debated over and over with our family members what we should name her. My mother-in-law sent us a list of names from Egypt and my parents had their favorites. I even had my favorite which I picked out from years ago and said if I ever had a daughter I would give her this name, but the day she was born, there wasn’t a name more fitting for her than “Duaa,” because we all knew that before the doctors, the level one hospital, the medicines, the treatments, the surgeries-before all of that and more -she was a product of all the duaa that we and all of our dear family and brothers and sisters in Islam made to Allah (swt). Alhamdullillah.

It took us another 3 years to conceive our second child, Mohammed, but alhamdullillah, he was conceived without any infertility treatments at all! And now, we’re going on 3 years trying to conceive our third child (insha’Allah-please make duaa for us).

So, why am I sharing this deeply personal experience? Well, for one thing, I want to stress the need for stronger sisterhood in our communities. Looking back at my experience, I realize how much support I had during my test, but unless a woman has a close group of family and friends that she trusts living near her, there is really zero support for women struggling with any issue. Fortunately, for me, I was living in a community that I grew up in and that I was comfortable in, but how often is that the case for women? What would I have done if I were in an unfamiliar community or worse yet, in another country during my test? I doubt I would have reached out for help (I say this because when I had my son in a new community and was suffering from loneliness/depression, I didn’t reach out for help; instead, I just suffered through it). I hope that we can remember that sometimes, sisters are shy or hesitant to reach out for help or support. We should pay attention to each other and, especially, to new sisters in the community because most likely, they are in need of some sisterly love and support-and that love and support can make all the difference to someone.

Secondly, I hope to remind everyone (including myself) to never underestimate the power of duaa, no matter how large or small the issue at hand is. We do everything we can to make something happen, but at the end of the day, the matter is in Allah’s Hands, alone, and He is the Hearer and Answerer of duaa. And finally, there are people out there wishing, crying, and praying for just one child to make their families complete. Allah has given us to each other; let’s thank Him by not taking each other for granted.

Hagar Emira

Hagar lives in Maryland with her husband and two young children. She enjoys attending Islamic halaqas, reading, learning new things, and spending time with her family.

About Marwa Aly
  • thanaya asgher

    wow MA sister! your courage and steadfastness and faith in the powers of Allah swt are inspirational! may Allah swt protect you from pain, misery and sadness! im so glad u shared this with us all…. i have forwarded your piece to all my deeni sisters, esp those who are still trying to conceive… please sister remember them in ur duaas! subhanAllah

  • Maha

    Alhamdulillah. What a beautiful story. I’m so happy you shared it with us.

  • Zainab

    Beautiful story Hagar….thank you for sharing it.

  • Mayce

    JAK for sharing your intimate story. The lessons you drew are so valid!

  • ummossama

    JAK Hagar,….so many important reminders to contemplate on in your heartfelt. beautiful story.

    Thank you for sharing.

  • Susan

    Hagar, So glad you came to this community. I remember Mohammed’s barely 2-week old body filling in a tiny space of his carrier. Insha’Allah there’ll be a 3rd child to follow.

  • Zaynab

    Hagar, thank you so much for writing this. What an important reminder to women who’ve had children with ease to thank Allah every day for the blessing of children and not, for one moment, take these precious little people for granted. May Allah bless you and your family!


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