Sleepless Nights

I lie awake throughout the night peering at the bedroom door I’ve strategically left open just the right distance to see the dim light on the other side.  The night is so still – so quiet. Every sound could be the one and my heart skips over its own beat waiting for the second sound: a door creaking open, a slow step being taken. Is he back? And what might he be after this time?

A few weeks ago I fell asleep next to my daughter. Not quite ready for bed, I even left the hallway lights on. Earlier that evening, for the first time in her 4 years, my youngest asked me if there were bad guys in this world and if they could get into our house. I tried to strike a balance between truth and security.  I assured her that we had locked up and done all we could to make sure none of those bad guys come in.

Allah is our best protector.  A few hours later I felt someone stirring down the hall. Had my husband gotten up? I thought so and I closed my eyes again.  Seeing a strange figure appear at the top of the stairs, I flew from my daughter’s side yelling at this strange man,  “What are you doing here.  Get out!  Get out!”

It was only a few minutes before the 911 dispatcher told me the officers were already outside.  My husband had secured the inside, ensuring that he had taken the back way out.  Surprisingly they caught up with him, or at least someone who matched his description. Unfortunately, I couldn’t be 100% sure it was him and without anything from my house in his possession, he was later released.  The next day we realized that he had actually taken cash from my husband’s wallet which was still inside his pants pocket that night. The man had been so careful to return the wallet to its original place.

So now we wait for man’s justice to be served.  Perhaps this man will return to prison, or maybe the conviction won’t hold.  I’m trying to sleep. The nights bring increasingly more relaxation, slowly but surely.   I make du’a and spit at the place where he appeared.  I am reassured that Allah is my Protector and I plead to Him to protect my family, accepting the fact that nothing happens without His will.

Susan Assaf

Susan lives in Maryland and is a homeschooling mom of 4.