The List

Abu Said Al-Khudri narrated, “Once Allah’s prophet went out to the Musalla (to offer the prayer) on Eid-al-Adha or Al-Fitr prayer. He passed by the women and said, “O women! Give charity, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-fire were from you.” They asked, “Why is it so, Oh Allah’s prophet?” He replied, “You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands.” (Al Bukhari Book 6, Hadith 301)

When I first heard this hadith I freaked out. It’s easy to get trapped in the ungratefulness trap and the shaitan is as close to human as blood. I want to go to Jannah! So what should I do beside sadaqa when bad thoughts come to me?

It’s known that if you remember anything you also remember the emotions you felt at that time, so I decided to write a list of the good things my husband did for me and is still doing, a list of the good moments we had together and the good characteristics I love in him. Every time I feel like saying “I have never received any good from you,” I pull out the list and start reading it. Before I reach the end of the list, my bad feelings go away and I’m happy again alhamdulillah. Of course, this list becomes long over time so if you have a big fight you will have enough good memories to calm you-smile.

Eman A. Sayed

Eman Sayed lives in Cairo, Egypt, with her four children and is interested in religious studies, parenting, and health.

About Mahaez
  • Aishah

    JAK great tip and great reminder :)

  • Wael Hamza

    JAK, nice post. I think men should develop their own list. With these mutual lists around, family life will be a paradise in this life before the eternal Paradise!

  • UmJawaad

    Jazak Allahu Khair Sr. Eman. Your posts always leave me thinking….Wow, with those simple steps, I can do so much more and be a better believer, Insha Allah, aameen.

    We miss you.

  • Maryam

    It’s so true how, when I’m in a certain mood, if I remember to think about the opposite (the positive in a person or a given situation) it can so turn me and my thinking around! JAK for the tip!

  • ummossama

    JAK,Eman for reminding us and Maryam-it”s so true how focusing on positive can brighten any day.

  • ummZayd

    Really beautiful! Jazaki Allahu Khairun for sharing this.

  • Lena

    Every husband in the world is going to thank you for this post ;)

    I thank you too :)

  • maha

    This is a very good tip. JAK.