Catholic Life Hacks: Truly Last Minute Saint Costume

If you have a group of children who need a saint costume, stat, ask if anyone can lend you some red lip gloss.

In the hands of a skilled teenager, you can have a company of martyrs of the French Revolution in no time at all.  Hint: A white t-shirt is maybe not the best combination, when you are going for the freshly-decapitated look.  Thank goodness for bleach.


Of course for pure All-Hallow’s-Eve report-giving pleasure, you want a martyr of the Roman Empire.  No really: When she said about how they pulled out her teeth one by one, that was the toned-down version.
Catholic mom negotiating tactics, as heard at my house: If you, precious child, will do for me the thing I want you to do but really can’t force you to do, then I, your mother, will find you a saint who is both obscure and disgusting, so that you can shock and confound all your friends during the saint guessing-game at the party.

You haven’t lived until you’ve trolled Butler’s Lives for gore and got to call it “school.”

But c’mon: There was a fight breaking out among the kids over St. Lucy’s eyeball, which kept being tossed about during reports after sweet little angel-faced Lucy sat down.  It’s just part of the childhood memories.
Harvest festival?  We don’t need no stinkin’ harvest festival.  This is what it means to be Catholic: God gave us guts for a reason, and one way or another, we intend to use them.
File:Martyrs Chretiens entrant a l amphitheatre-Leon Benouville-IMG 8296.JPG
Artwork:François-Léon Benouville [CeCILL or CC BY-SA 2.0 fr], via Wikimedia Commons
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About Jennifer Fitz

Jennifer Fitz is the mother of four fantabulous children, and author of Classroom Management for Catechists. She writes online for Patheos and for the Catholic Conspiracy. When she isn't blogging, teaching, or complaining about something, she likes to play outside.