About Jennifer Fitz

Jennifer Fitz is the mother of four fantabulous children, and author of Classroom Management for Catechists. She writes online for Patheos and for the Catholic Conspiracy. When she isn't blogging, teaching, or complaining about something, she likes to play outside.

Why Trump Won, as Heard in Seven Shots & One Speech

Monday morning, MLK day, I was loading the car in a hotel parking lot when gunfire erupted in the distance.   The shots were irregular - one, and then two, and then a pause and another one . . . perhaps seven shots in total.The hotel was more like a set of small apartment houses clustered around the pool; sound bounces off houses deceptively, so that all I could know is that the shots came from ahead or beside me, not behind.  It was quiet.  A cloudy morning.  To my left was a high privacy fe … [Read more...]

The Female Draft and the End of Abortion

I don't expect that under the incoming administration there will be much momentum for requiring young women to register with the United States Selective Service, but sooner or later sufficient push will come along.  This is a different topic than "women in the military" in general, just as the decision to conscript young men is different than the question of the military having male volunteers.When that day comes, the justification for abortion will have just ended.What does it mean to v … [Read more...]

Catholic Parenting Win: Properly Targeted Teenager Whining

That moment when your kid gripes, "Why are we even bothering having choral Benediction if we're not singing the Rossini O Salutaris?  I mean, do you want people to catch onto the idea of the Real Presence or not??"https://youtu.be/gBCvz88r__II forebore from mounting a defense of Gregorian chant.  Let her wallow in youthful self-righteousness for a while.Instead, I told her she needs to get together a choral flashmob and rove about town descending on Adoration hours and unleashing the … [Read more...]

Reality Check re: Black Santa

So, about those Santa Wars going on up at the Mall of America . . .I'm pleased to see that someone has been getting the memo and kindly ranked my horrible, no-good, very bad Southern state in the top ten worst places to live in the US.  It's terrible here! Stay away!Meanwhile, newsflash: What the local shopping malls here in backwardsville term "African-American Santa" has a been fixture on the Santa-visiting schedule for as long as I've had kids, and I suspect far longer than t … [Read more...]

Post-Election Political Discourse Tips for Beginners

Tip #1: If you wish to protest the provision in the US Constitution that's designed to prevent mob rule, forming a violent mob is not the most convincing way to make your case.Tip #2: You are of course well aware that the egregious post-election behavior on the part of a few unsavory characters who happened to have supported your candidate is the exception, not the rule.  It follows that the same is true of those bad apples on your opponent's side as well.Artwork: "Bursting the B … [Read more...]

Calexit Refugees Need Your Help!

Quick update: The piece below is satire (and was tagged as such from the outset), but a few people missed the memo.  The Calexit ballot initiative, however, is not.  You can read the detailed Q&A on the 2019 referendum initiative here.Dear Friends,I am writing to you in these tumultuous times to ask for your help with a very important work of mercy -- a whole collection of works of mercy, in fact.  Now before I make my plea, let me begin by thanking you for your hard work and de … [Read more...]

Difficulties Educating Redneck Children, Meat Edition

This afternoon, the 5th grader comes to me for homework help after school at St. Urban's.  It's a grammar review, and she couldn't make sense of the directions for question #3.The directions: "Use context clues to determine the meaning of the bolded word below."These directions were difficult to understand because the sentence is: "The hunter killed several deer in order to have enough venison to feed his family during the long, cold winter."The idea that someone wouldn't know wha … [Read more...]