Michael Hidalgo says No. (Follow his twitter feed here: @michaelhidalgo) Here is his post:
We have to stop talking about “Safe Sex,” and instead talk about the beauty of risky sex. No, this is not some dark, twisted fantasy. It’s just a more honest way of speaking about sexuality, because all sex is risky.
The term “Safe Sex” refers to using protection so that you don’t contract a sexually transmitted disease from your partner. It’s encourages people to use contraception to avoid an unwanted pregnancy. “Safe sex” promises that you can sleep with someone with the proper things in their proper place, and walk away from the encounter without having contracted a disease or conceived a child.
But what “Safe Sex” ignores is that sex is far more than a physical transaction. It only considers the physical dimension of a human being. It reduces us to copulating animals, for it ignores the spiritual and emotional connection that is forged in sex.
You may be able to protect yourself physically while having sex, but the reality is “Safe Sex” is a myth. What protection is there to prevent to intertwining of minds, hearts, and souls that happens when two people are joined together sexually?
Sex, by its very nature is not safe. It is the ultimate act in giving your whole self away to another person. It requires vulnerability that no other relationship asks for. It is to be fully exposed to another human being. It’s putting your full naked self out there as a gift – that’s risky.
When one offers himself or herself to another there are always the questions they ask, “Does he really want me?” “Does she really love me?” “Will he accept me?” “Will she be here when I wake up in the morning?” “Does he think I’m beautiful?” These and a million other questions are hanging out there between the two who are fully exposed to the other – what’s safe about that?We have been fooled into believing that sex isn’t all about the emotional and spiritual stuff. We tell ourselves there is such a thing as “casual sex,” and think we can have sex with “no strings attached.” Perhaps, we should recognize a person can go through the motions of sex … but it’s not really sexual at all.
This is why so many people have sex with so many people, and feel more and more alone. Somewhere, deep inside their heart, something is being ripped apart and taken from them, and nothing can protect that. What they mistake as a physical act, can cause emotional and spiritual heartache.
Make no mistake, sex is risky – and what it at risk is our hearts and souls. They are just as much a part of the act of sex as any body part is. That’s not only the risk – it’s also the beauty of sex.
It allows for us to give ourselves over to another and be accepted and received and embraced for exactly who we are. After all, that’s what everyone really, truly wants, isn’t it? Just to find someone who will look at us standing in front of them, stark naked – with the lights on – and love what they see?
That desire inside all of us isn’t just physical. It points to an emotional longing and a spiritual hunger. Sex offers this to all of us, but to stand naked in front of anyone is to take a huge risk – there is nothing safe about it.