trudging along

I can’t say I’ve made any great spiritual progress this week, but a leaky roof and squirrels in the attic have kept me out of bed. Sometimes focusing on putting one mundane foot in front of the other is all I can do… but sometimes it’s enough.

I need to re-read my own blog entries. I’m upset because I’m not having the religious experiences I want to have and because my beliefs aren’t strong enough to answer all my internal second-guessing. So the answer is what’s shown on my nice little diagram below (I say it’s mine – I honestly can’t remember whether I thought that up or whether I saw it somewhere and copied it). I need to keep reading, studying, praying, meditating, and practicing.

I also need to understand that becoming who and what I want to be will require change – and change is usually difficult and frequently painful. That’s the message of the Second Degree: go down to the place of wisdom; cast off what you do not need.

I’ve been through the Second Degree three times already (once in ritual and twice in the mundane world), but since I’m not where I need/want to be, perhaps I need to go through it again. Each time I came out changed, and I need to change and be changed once again.

Maybe I can’t create the opportunities I want. But I can put myself in a position where I’ll recognize opportunities when they present themselves, and where I’ll be able to respond appropriately when they do.

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About John Beckett

I’m a Druid in the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids. I’m an ordained priest in the Universal Gnostic Fellowship. I’m the Coordinating Officer of the Denton, Texas Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans. This year I’m also serving as a member of the Board of Trustees of CUUPS National. I’m a member of the Denton Unitarian Universalist Fellowship.

I write as a spiritual practice. It helps me organize my thoughts and work through ideas and concepts. It helps me evaluate my beliefs and practices against my core values and against what I know (or at least, what I think I know) to be true. It helps me interpret my experiences (religious and otherwise) in ways that are both meaningful and honest.


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