Top 10 Things I’ll Worry About While My Wife is Getting Surgery Tomorrow

My inner worrier

As I yesterday wrote a bit about here, tomorrow my wife Catherine is going into the hospital for a little Major Surgery. I can already tell that while she’s under the knife, the top 10 things I’ll be in the waiting room worrying about will be:

1. The surgeon sneezing at a critical moment in the operation.

2. One of the nurses saying, “Hey. Where’s my other glove?” after the surgery is over.

3. Cat’s anesthesia wearing off about half-way through the operation.

4. Cat’s anesthesia never wearing off.

5. In an administrative snafu, Cat getting confused with another patient who is suffering from advanced gangrene.

6. The surgeon and nurses secretly being part of a Russian gang of black market organ harvesters.

7. The night-shift worker who was supposed to sharpen all the surgery tools calling in sick the night before, and no one being assigned their tasks.

8. The surgeon not being able to make the surgery, and sending in her stead one of the top two or three students in her advanced physiology grad class.

9. During the operation Cat, a great napper, imagining that she’s sleeping, and trying to roll over.

10. That before we left the house I forgot to turn off the stove.

(What I’ll be worried about today is that anyone shows the poor girl this blog post.)

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About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is founder of Unfundamentalist Christians (on Facebook here), and executive editor of the Unfundamentalist Christians group blog.  (In total John's two blogs receive some 250,000 views per month.) John is also co-founder of The NALT Christians Project, which was written about by TIME,  The Washington Post, and others. His website is JohnShore.com. You're invited to like John's Facebook page. Don't forget to sign up for his mucho-awesome newsletter. If you shop at Amazon, help support John by entering the site through this link right here--Amazon will then send John 3-4% of the cost of anything you buy before exiting the site again.

 

  • http://www.twitter.Com/Deggsy Derek O'Brien

    All the best for her tomorrow, thoughts and prayers with you both…

  • Latoya

    Is there ANYTHING that you cant make sound funny?? LOL

  • http://megaloi.blogspot.com Redlefty (Michael)

    Thinking about you guys as she prepares to go in and have the crazy removed!

    (ducks)

  • http://yeuann.blogspot.com yeu@nn

    praying for ur wife! :)

  • Leonardo

    Seeing your inner worrier is perfectly clear why the Lord says: do not worry. If He has to see that inside you……..aghh!.

    9. was real funny! Ithought in my wife.

    We're praying; hugs!

  • http://facebook Tammy

    If God notices the loss of a hair (some of you guys are getting WAY too much of His attention), then we can be sure He is attentive when one of His creation goes inside another of His creation to remove parts. Daddy-God has been dealing with stressed-out humans for a long time, John. He can handle whatever he finds inside your head! You might even bring about the recall. :)

  • Leonardo

    please don't misunderstand, I was kidding about the guy in the picture.

    I like this verse: "In all their affliction He was afflicted, And the Angel of His Presence saved them; In His love and in His pity He redeemed them; And He bore them and carried them All the days of old." Isaiah 63:9

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Thanks to each of you, very much. These kind thoughts of yours mean a great deal to Cat and me. (Leo: thanks for prayers and hugs. But I must tell you: God’s welcomed, anytime, to come see what’s inside my mind. If he shows up and at that moment I happen to be insane with worry over the well-being of someone I love, and he has a PROBLEM with that, I’ll slap his dumb ass silly for daring to imitate God, and kick the devil on his way.)

  • http://kansasbob.com/ kansasbob

    We are waiting for a call from the hospital now.. waiting on a bed to be available for my wife.. enjoyed the humor John.. I need a stress breaker right now :)

  • http://justdoyin.wordpress.com justdoyin

    John, it’s funny how u make even a serious matter like ur wife’s op, sound so light and funny…I’m praying 4 u, and for Cat too…none of ur worries will come to pass, she WILL be fine, by His special grace…cheers

  • Kelly Lynn Mosher

    You scared me and yes, slap that imitator good indeed! God loves you both so much. He is the perfecter of your lives. “So do not fear for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ” Isaiah 41:10

  • textjunkie

    Hah! You sound like my hubby when I was prepping to go under the knife at one point a few years ago. God’s blessings be on you both and the whole surgical team!!


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