A (non) helping hand

Hi guys! Just a quick note to let you know that for the next few days I won’t be blogging too much. I rather completely munched up a nerve in my right hand, which I now have to keep on ice and try not to use. I hurt my hand writing, of all things. I do a ton of writing at our kitchen table, which is …. well, this:

I slump in the chair on the left like I’m Joe Spineless Wonder, keep my forearms pressed hard against the edge of the marble table-top, and day after day stay there for so long that … well, that now I’ve apparently crushed some nerve that runs all the way from my right hand to my right pectoral muscle, if you can stand the anatomical continuity of it all, which as of right now I totally can’t.

Stupid nerves. When you need them they’re nowhere to be found, and when you don’t need them, they’re causing you major pain and making you keep your hand on ice.

So no Pastor Bob tomorrow (mounting Bob’s posts is a weird amount of work), and nothing more from me for … I dunno. Actually, I think it’s only going to be two days. So mostly it’s just no Pastor Bob tomorrow. The reason for which I certainly did want to explain.

Two quick things before I pop some more Tylenol (wait … it’s Advil), jam my hand back into the bowl of ice, and see what other loser movies are available on Netflix:

The softcover edition of my book UNFAIR: Why the “Christian” View of Gays Doesn’t Work is STILL ON SALE for only $11.51. The regular price is $15.99. I have no idea why Amazon put UNFAIR on sale (and don’t care: I get paid the same either way), or when they’ll take it off sale. But as of this writing it’s still (the odd price of) $11.51. UNFAIR is also available as a Kindle book and a NookBook; you can also buy directly from me an autographed softcover copy, inscribed according to your directions—with which I also throw in, for free, one of my [autographed and dated] awesome business cards (These copies of UNFAIR are the regular price, because I already bought them; even as I wincingly type this, they’re in my office.)

Also, if you used to belong to ThruWay Christians, and haven’t heard, we’ve changed our name to Unfundamentalist Christians. We’d love to have you “like” our new Unfundamentalist Christians Facebook page.

Let’s see, what else? Oh: if you think of it, send me your questions, etc., via my Ask John page. That way I don’t have to write you back and ask if you’d like me to answer on my blog whatever you wrote me. It totally saves me that permissions step.

Oh: and please tell your friends to check out my blog, and (assuming they like my work, of course), to “Like” my Facebook page. That’s pretty much the only way I have of getting new people to find out that I’m out here, doing my thing. Thanks for that help. You guys are great to me that way.

And there we have it! Hope you guys are all having a wonderful weekend. Thanks for all the great comments you’re always leaving on my blog. (Did you check out those insane Bad Pastor stories from yesterday’s When Bad Pastors Happen to Good Weddings?! Freakin’ unbelievable! I guess there are a whole bunch of pastors out there who think funerals are a winning time to evangelize, what with people just then feeling so vulnerable and all. I hear about one more story about a pastor that cretinous, and I may just give it up and go pagan. Not that there’s anything wrong with that!)

Love to you guys.

"You have the floor Pastor he said it as we all faced that product of ..."

The fundamentally toxic Christianity
"Save souls, nourish them as the devil roars for opportunity to steal, kill and destroy. ..."

My mom died late last night; ..."
"Sorry for your loss."

My mom died late last night; ..."
"We will see our loved ones but only those who had a relationship with jesus ..."

My mom died late last night; ..."

Browse Our Archives

What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Pam

    My husband has done that twice–it is sometimes called Saturday night palsy. Find a specialist hand therapist, who can be either an occupational therapist or a physical therapist. If your hand is paralyzed for more than a day it is a sign that the injury is serious enough that you need help to get full function back.

  • (sniff) Get well soon!

  • – hopes you are feeling better soon.

  • Kristi

    Oh man, sorry John. I hope you heal fast!

  • Rich Roy via Facebook

    …hang in there…but, not with your right hand…get well soon!!!

  • Lyn

    Ouch! We’ll limp along without you, John. Praying for healing!

  • Aliyah Aldridge via Facebook

    Well, I hope you enjoy the short “vacation” as much as possible. For the future, if you live in a fairly quiet environment, you might find speech recognition to be worth your while (once you get past the aggravating initial period of training the software). You mention slouching too much – you may find that that can be remedied with a bigger display. I connect my laptop to a 32′ TV. That change saved me many a night of lying on the floor with a bad back.

  • Jennifer Edwards

    Hope you feel better soon. You will be missed on my Facebook feed!

  • Yikes, rest that hand. We need you in top form!

  • Jennifer Sandberg via Facebook

    So sorry.

  • Matthew Tweedell

    Sorry to hear about your injury, John! I guess that’s one of the occupational hazards that comes with being called to such a dangerous line of work.

    Have you looked into suing for workman’s comp?

    Seriously, though, I hope you get better soon.

    Wishing you well… and trying not to feel your pain too much… ouch!

  • Sharla

    I pray you’re on the mend soon!

  • Diana A.

    Get well soon, John!

  • Thomasina Lackey

    Prayers for a speedy recovery!

  • Hey, thanks, you guys! This is all so very nice. (Just watched “The Fighter,” with M. Wahlberg, Christian Bale, Amy Adams. Really quite an extremely good film. I had no idea Christian Bale could actually act. Sweet! Good stuff.)

    Thanks again for sending love. My hand aches like it’s got a 20-lb. anvil sitting on it, but it’s no biggy. But I’m definitely done typing now. Later!

  • I feel you. I did that myself when I was in college. I will miss you so much because I love your writing.

  • Jason Hathcock via Facebook

    Hope you feel better soon. I enjoy your perspectives and humor!

  • I’ve always wanted a writing injury. I think that that would be such a geek badge of honor!

    Seriously … I’m praying for a speedy recovery and I’ll look forward to seeing you back.

    Take care.

  • Don Whitt

    Saturday Night Palsy was one of nicknames in college…

  • I understand your frustation. When I cracked a bone in my right arm and had it immobilized in a splint, I *still* tried to write and communicate online and kind of gave up until I got the splint removed when all I could type was un-capitalized and running together.

    Amazing how left-handed one finds oneself to be in those kind of situations.

    Follow doctor’s orders and hope you have a speedy recovery. Try not to “Argh!” too much.

  • Careful what you wish for: Years ago the Writers Guild of America revealed the 6 most common ailments among writers were heart disease, lung cancer, diabetes, lower back pain, alcoholism, and hemorrhoids

  • …and a serious bit of advice: Get yourself a wrist / elbow cushion to rest on. My mouse pad has a gel that supports my wrist, lowering the chance of repetitive nerve injury.

  • Nicole

    Sorry for your pain, sweet. 🙁 Typing (and mousing!) has never been good for the human hand.

  • John, Tylenol is ok for pain, but does nothing for the inflammation, which is the base of the problem. Aspirin, ibuprofen, or naproxen are anti-inflammatories though, and the last two you can get in gel caps, which I highly recommend. I get more relief alternating them. Also, RICE- rest, ice, compression, elevation. And don’t push it! We want you back better, not halfway!

  • Heidi Thibodeau via Facebook

    Hope things get better soon! And thanks for the reminder about your “Unfundamentalist” group. I’d missed that somehow, but am glad I checked it out. I was blown away by your “What We Believe” list. Especially #9. I wish every *fundamentalist/evangelical* Christian would read it. Not that it would probably do any good, lol, but still . . .

  • Christy

    I second the NSAIDS over Tylenol if your tummy can take it. With food always. But your doc probably already covered that. Rest up. Feel better soon.

  • Lymis

    Oh admit it – you’re just trying to reinforce your Christian cred by claiming you have no experience typing one-handed.

    Seriously, though, take care of yourself, get well. You’re in my prayers.

  • I believe you’re confusing typing with my left hand only and using a mouse with my left hand. And I had no idea what you’re talking about.

  • textjunkie

    Hope your hand recovers quickly, John!! Netflix is an awesome place–check all the 1950s Sci-fi flicks or all the Alfred Hitchcock oldies… 🙂

  • LSS

    OW. And verily Ow again.

    Hope it gets better soon.

    I hurt myself grading once. And get this, it was my FOOT that i hurt while grading. It was from not moving enough while i spent a weekend correcting finals and entering grades.

    It’s things like this where i think the emphasis ought to be on Fearfully, rather than wonderfully, about how we are made. But i guess it’s meant to go together.

  • LSS

    That was an amazing movie. I learned a lot about my family from it. Not that my family was like that family in any of the surface specifics, but things like how verbal violence can be more violent than boxing…

  • Erin D.

    Oh no! I’ve been out of the loop all weekend and look what I miss. Ouchie ouch! Take all the time you need to get better. (On an unrelated note, it is pretty cool to see your table – “where the magic happens.”) 🙂

  • ur very kind, erin. thank you!

  • Grant

    Missing you! Praying the healing is going well. If all else fails, put hand on TV, find Ernest Angley, wait for “Devil get out” and “heal thyself”. There. Feeling all better?